I guess the cat is out of the bag now. I wanted to become a full-pledged writer as much as my husband wants to become a full-pledged photographer. And we are both working our way towards that dream.... towards that goal. I've read that the difference between a dream and a goal is the time factor. You set a time when you will achieve a goal whereas the dream has an indefinite time as to when or if this will ever happen. We both started with our dreams but we did not stop there. We prayed about that dream everyday. And God who blesses dreams turned fantasy into reality. Because for God there is nothing impossible.
I read this book From Success to Significance by Lloyd Reeb and it described people who have lived the first half of their lives. They were financially successful but felt their lives were lacking in meaning. They were not answering to the call within. There is that sense of emptiness or that sense of restlessness, wherein you know that there is something more that you ought to be doing but are not doing right now. That was what struck me and Alvin these past two years.
Anyway, this book created a roadmap for me. It asked all the essential questions that I needed to answer for myself. My husband and I have lived the first half of our lives and we are now into the second half. It may seem too early for some that we have retired as doctors. But we have our dreams which has now started to transform into goals. And we simply needed to follow the call of our hearts, in pursuit of significance rather than success. Some people would be struck by this in their 40s or even in their 50s. I have an uncanny notion that this might be part of the midlife crisis phenomenon. However, whereas the midlife crisis would be viewed in a more negative way, this halftime tends to look at this phenomenon of "midlife crisis" in a very positive way because it gives you the time to pause, look back at your life and how you have lived it in the past and look towards the future with a sense of purpose.
Now, I am reading the ebook "48 Days to the Work You Love" and this even further puts into detail the structures that I need to achieve my goals. It helped me see all the different aspects of my life that are most essential and needed to be balanced. Work, family, financial, physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual.
For those who are really serious about living their dreams, Bo Sanchez's Five Year Life Dreams Success Journal might be able to help in making a Personal Mission Statement. This is just a booklet or a journal of sorts where you will be asked to write down your personal mission statement and the goals for each of these aspects. There are simple questions that you need to answer. If you want a more in depth way of looking into your life's mission, then The Path by Laurie Beth Jones would be the right book for you. This may sound tedious for some, but for me, it's worth all the time and effort because it's where my dreams started to become goals and then slowly transformed into realities. And unless you really put conviction and determination in living your dreams, these dreams will only remain as dreams and you will continue asking yourself why some people are living their dreams and why you are not. It only takes one step to do that... and that is the most crucial step.... to say yes to that dream. Write it down and put a time factor when you wanted it achieved. Then start with your objectives, your mini-goals... which you can achieve in a short period of time. The year 2009 is about to end. This is the perfect time to be looking back to the years that have passed, to plan ahead and to move forward into living your dreams.
As for me, I am reviewing my Life Dreams Success Journal for 2009, checking the goals that I have met for 2009, reflecting on the ones that I have not achieved, redefining my goals for 2010 and finally, the most essential factor is offering my plans to God. Because He respects our free will and will not impose His will on us, this act of offering keeps the door open for Him to intervene in my life, revise some of my plans to create a better one, and even steer it to a completely different and more exciting direction. Then I can truly live my second half as He deemed it to be.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Facing the Ghost of my Past
I have talked a lot about my life here in the US and how we adjusted to all the changes but I have not managed to write about my work. Perhaps I was just waiting for the time when I can totally assimilate everything and describe it more thoroughly.
I started work last September 8. Well, it was not "work" actually because that was just the first day of my orientation as an acute dialysis nurse. I was nervous, anxious but hopeful.
I have not really talked much about my nursing experience in the past. But I did have nursing experience.... a bad one! I would consider those five months in 1993 that I worked as a nurse as the worst segment of my life. It was just hell everyday.
I graduated in June 1992 with a BS degree in Nursing. Back then, the board exam results does not get released until 6 months after. So for me, it was December of 1992 that I was informed that I was in the top 10 of the board passers. That would have been a source of great honor but at that time, it only became a source of pressure. As a new graduate from a very prestigious nursing school and one of the board topnotchers, I was expected to perform well. However, when I started work as a delivery room-nursery nurse, I felt so incompetent. Orientation then was just a day tour inside the delivery room-nursery complex on my first day and then it was immediately an on-the-job training. I was with two other newbies but they were familiar with the set-up of this hospital. As for me, I was just totally disoriented and I had a very hard time adjusting to my new work. It was not of much help at all that the work environment was very negative, with senior colleagues backstabbing and badmouthing the newbies. I had no doubt that when I was not around, it was me that was on the hot spot. On top of that, one resident doctor seem to find such great pleasure in criticizing and insulting me. At that time, I was a just a young, idealistic new Catholic convert.
I am a born Catholic but did not discover and appreciate my Catholic faith until 1992 when I got involved in the Catholic Charismatic Renewal Movement. From there, I was drawn to the contemplative way of life of the Carmelite nuns which prompted me to approach the monastery and get in serious discernment. So when I worked in the hospital, it was from the promptings of my spiritual director who wanted me to "mature" first. So I felt that all the negativities hurled upon me should just be embraced in meek acceptance. That disposition just totally crushed my spirit.
Everyday, I would wake up dreading the work ahead of me. Everyday, my spirit was in such turmoil, filled with all sorts of fear and anxieties. That went on for five very long months. Then I started to develop asthma-like symptoms. Upon consult with a doctor, I was told that I had subclinical asthma. I knew it was because I was hating my work life so much. I was simply enduring everything because I thought God wanted me to embrace and carry my cross. But somehow, I found the courage to tell my spiritual director that I think I have worked long enough and I know that I do not like to be a nurse at all. So he agreed to have me live with the out-sisters in the Carmelite monastery for a live-in discernment.
I was just so happy and so at peace. Inside the monastery, I healed from the inner turmoil. After three months, however, I was led out of the monastery to become a Jesuit volunteer where the discernment process continued. It was there that I regained my inner strength and found balance between charity and justice. It was there that I have matured and learned that it is not God's will for man to accept being emotionally or physically abused by another. I realized that I have allowed myself to be emotionally abused by another person and in the process lost my self-esteem in my abilities... especially skills and abilities as a nurse. I thought earning my doctor of medicine degree and having excelled in my anesthesia residency training have already earned me my redemption.
But this sudden turn of tide made me face nursing once again and look back to my past. Now, I realized that my past experience still needed redemption. It could not be redeemed with a higher degree in medicine. It can only be redeemed by facing that same ghost again... as a nurse.
And I think I am slowly healing.
And I owe it to the kind of nursing system that they have here in the US. Orientation for me here was not just a one day tour and then you get thrown to the dogs. We had to sit in class for 3 weeks. I had two other nurses with me who were ICU nurses. But the educator does not presume you know any of the stuff that she is talking about. Everybody gets the orientation and lecture that is necessary for a dialysis nurse to know. It was only on the last week of the 3 weeks that we went into the clinics for our hands-on. And then we took a competency exam and it was only after passing the exam that we started in the hospital on one-on-one preceptorship. For 7 weeks, we worked with our preceptors. It was only last week that we were slowly weaned from our preceptors. Now, I am comfortable doing dialysis treatment by myself. But still a little scared to be left all alone in one hospital. Because here is how we work as dialysis nurses in the acute setting and not in the chronic clinic facilities.
The night before my duty, I call a voicemail number for our assignments the next day. You see, my employer has contracts with nine hospitals in Southwest Ohio and we cater to all these hospitals. There are around 20 dialysis nurses in our team. Each nurse on duty is assigned 1-3 patients in 1-2 hospitals. So we kind of work by ourselves unless one hospital would have many patients that require dialysis treatment. That would mean two or three nurses are assigned to work in that one hospital.
The night before my duty, I call the hospital and inform the nurse what time I will put the patients on dialysis. Then I leave a voicemail to the attending nephrologist about the schedule of the patients. The next day, I start out early. I usually want the patient running on dialysis by 7am. Set-up of the machine, water checks and patient preparation usually takes me 30 minutes to one hour. Dialysis treatment runs 3-4 hours on the average. Post-treatment clean up usually takes another hour. Work hours then varies. Sometimes it can be just 9 hours. On other occasions, it can be more than 12 hours of duty. I only work 3 times a week so I don't mind the long hours. I have 4 days to recover anyway. And if I should feel that I am not earning enough, I can always ask to pick up additional hours on any of my 4 days off. So I like my job. It is very flexible and we are very autonomous.
So I think I have redeemed that bad nursing experience in my past. Now, I am comfortable talking about my work. And I shall be describing a lot more in my next blogs...of how different nursing practice is here in the US, the technology that I had to adjust to, and even the work environment which I find really positive and encouraging not to mention the patients who are very appreciative of the service that you give them.
I thank God for this healing experience.
Indeed the only way to get rid of the ghost of your past is to simply face them. But you should face them with the armaments necessary to scare them away, with faith, hope and love. And there is healing for every ugly wound. Some wounds are too deep that you need to get back, into it, dig up and debride it. Unless you do that, it continues to rot inside. But it's the only way for healing to take place. Scars fade away. And you are left with just memories of the past and a sense of wholeness that you have gone through it and have survived and gone past it. And it is such a wondrous experience to be redeemed and to be made whole again.
I started work last September 8. Well, it was not "work" actually because that was just the first day of my orientation as an acute dialysis nurse. I was nervous, anxious but hopeful.
I have not really talked much about my nursing experience in the past. But I did have nursing experience.... a bad one! I would consider those five months in 1993 that I worked as a nurse as the worst segment of my life. It was just hell everyday.
I graduated in June 1992 with a BS degree in Nursing. Back then, the board exam results does not get released until 6 months after. So for me, it was December of 1992 that I was informed that I was in the top 10 of the board passers. That would have been a source of great honor but at that time, it only became a source of pressure. As a new graduate from a very prestigious nursing school and one of the board topnotchers, I was expected to perform well. However, when I started work as a delivery room-nursery nurse, I felt so incompetent. Orientation then was just a day tour inside the delivery room-nursery complex on my first day and then it was immediately an on-the-job training. I was with two other newbies but they were familiar with the set-up of this hospital. As for me, I was just totally disoriented and I had a very hard time adjusting to my new work. It was not of much help at all that the work environment was very negative, with senior colleagues backstabbing and badmouthing the newbies. I had no doubt that when I was not around, it was me that was on the hot spot. On top of that, one resident doctor seem to find such great pleasure in criticizing and insulting me. At that time, I was a just a young, idealistic new Catholic convert.
I am a born Catholic but did not discover and appreciate my Catholic faith until 1992 when I got involved in the Catholic Charismatic Renewal Movement. From there, I was drawn to the contemplative way of life of the Carmelite nuns which prompted me to approach the monastery and get in serious discernment. So when I worked in the hospital, it was from the promptings of my spiritual director who wanted me to "mature" first. So I felt that all the negativities hurled upon me should just be embraced in meek acceptance. That disposition just totally crushed my spirit.
Everyday, I would wake up dreading the work ahead of me. Everyday, my spirit was in such turmoil, filled with all sorts of fear and anxieties. That went on for five very long months. Then I started to develop asthma-like symptoms. Upon consult with a doctor, I was told that I had subclinical asthma. I knew it was because I was hating my work life so much. I was simply enduring everything because I thought God wanted me to embrace and carry my cross. But somehow, I found the courage to tell my spiritual director that I think I have worked long enough and I know that I do not like to be a nurse at all. So he agreed to have me live with the out-sisters in the Carmelite monastery for a live-in discernment.
I was just so happy and so at peace. Inside the monastery, I healed from the inner turmoil. After three months, however, I was led out of the monastery to become a Jesuit volunteer where the discernment process continued. It was there that I regained my inner strength and found balance between charity and justice. It was there that I have matured and learned that it is not God's will for man to accept being emotionally or physically abused by another. I realized that I have allowed myself to be emotionally abused by another person and in the process lost my self-esteem in my abilities... especially skills and abilities as a nurse. I thought earning my doctor of medicine degree and having excelled in my anesthesia residency training have already earned me my redemption.
But this sudden turn of tide made me face nursing once again and look back to my past. Now, I realized that my past experience still needed redemption. It could not be redeemed with a higher degree in medicine. It can only be redeemed by facing that same ghost again... as a nurse.
And I think I am slowly healing.
And I owe it to the kind of nursing system that they have here in the US. Orientation for me here was not just a one day tour and then you get thrown to the dogs. We had to sit in class for 3 weeks. I had two other nurses with me who were ICU nurses. But the educator does not presume you know any of the stuff that she is talking about. Everybody gets the orientation and lecture that is necessary for a dialysis nurse to know. It was only on the last week of the 3 weeks that we went into the clinics for our hands-on. And then we took a competency exam and it was only after passing the exam that we started in the hospital on one-on-one preceptorship. For 7 weeks, we worked with our preceptors. It was only last week that we were slowly weaned from our preceptors. Now, I am comfortable doing dialysis treatment by myself. But still a little scared to be left all alone in one hospital. Because here is how we work as dialysis nurses in the acute setting and not in the chronic clinic facilities.
The night before my duty, I call a voicemail number for our assignments the next day. You see, my employer has contracts with nine hospitals in Southwest Ohio and we cater to all these hospitals. There are around 20 dialysis nurses in our team. Each nurse on duty is assigned 1-3 patients in 1-2 hospitals. So we kind of work by ourselves unless one hospital would have many patients that require dialysis treatment. That would mean two or three nurses are assigned to work in that one hospital.
The night before my duty, I call the hospital and inform the nurse what time I will put the patients on dialysis. Then I leave a voicemail to the attending nephrologist about the schedule of the patients. The next day, I start out early. I usually want the patient running on dialysis by 7am. Set-up of the machine, water checks and patient preparation usually takes me 30 minutes to one hour. Dialysis treatment runs 3-4 hours on the average. Post-treatment clean up usually takes another hour. Work hours then varies. Sometimes it can be just 9 hours. On other occasions, it can be more than 12 hours of duty. I only work 3 times a week so I don't mind the long hours. I have 4 days to recover anyway. And if I should feel that I am not earning enough, I can always ask to pick up additional hours on any of my 4 days off. So I like my job. It is very flexible and we are very autonomous.
So I think I have redeemed that bad nursing experience in my past. Now, I am comfortable talking about my work. And I shall be describing a lot more in my next blogs...of how different nursing practice is here in the US, the technology that I had to adjust to, and even the work environment which I find really positive and encouraging not to mention the patients who are very appreciative of the service that you give them.
I thank God for this healing experience.
Indeed the only way to get rid of the ghost of your past is to simply face them. But you should face them with the armaments necessary to scare them away, with faith, hope and love. And there is healing for every ugly wound. Some wounds are too deep that you need to get back, into it, dig up and debride it. Unless you do that, it continues to rot inside. But it's the only way for healing to take place. Scars fade away. And you are left with just memories of the past and a sense of wholeness that you have gone through it and have survived and gone past it. And it is such a wondrous experience to be redeemed and to be made whole again.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Staying On Track, Not Getting Sidetracked
The temperature was 5 degrees Celsius and there was frost on the grass. But the sun was out and the sky was so blue. It was also my day off. So after bringing the kids to school, my husband and I headed to our favorite running trail. It was actually in the middle of a golf course and airport for small private jets. As always, we spend the first mile of warm up doing briskwalking while praying the rosary. At exactly one mile or less, we finish five decades and begin to run.
I love these moments with with my spouse, with nature and with God. These are precious moments which I believe we should strive to keep. I was actually thinking of picking up hours at work because I only did 7.5 hours yesterday. I am just happy that I did not give in to that "temptation". I don't think money could buy these moments. These are the times that my husband and I keep in touch with our own personal journeys and share our dreams with each other. These are also moments that we lift these dreams to God for Him to bless us and our family. These are also moments when He speaks to us through the beautiful creation around us.
Just last week, I felt sad looking at the trees losing their beautiful leaves. Now, most trees are just bare skeletons of trunk and branches. But I also noticed that with these changes, the sky was more colorful. I saw a sunrise of pink and soft purple in hue. I also saw sunsets of bright orange and flaming red in the horizon. It's as though nature is trying to compensate for the loss of colors in the leaves.
Then I realized that God was simply pointing out to me that there is not a creation of His that is not good. Everything is good. We only have to learn to adapt our sights to what He sees. Instead of looking at the bare trees, we should look at the blue sky behind it. Then the tree reveals an entirely different beauty of its own against the clear, blue sky. I also began to appreciate the numerous blessings behind the challenges of living in the US.
The lack of maids is a blessing. My husband and I began to know our children in more personal terms. We have learned how to deal with their individual quirks and even appreciate their unique characters. We have grown closer as a family. The 3-day long hours at work are blessings. I saw the kind of husband I have who is so supportive and would not hesitate to give me the most wonderful hand and foot massage in the world. The income-less 4-days off is a blessing as well. These are the times that I am able to do the things that keep me grounded and on track.... like running with him. These are the times that I am able to nurture my spirit and spend more time with my family. These are also the times that I listen to the soft whispers of the spirit within.
Everything has a purpose. Everything has a beauty to reveal. It is just a matter of disposition and attitude. And the best way to remain in that positive attitude is to discover the things that opens up your mind and your spirit to the positive energy around you and to keep on doing these things. For me these are running, writing, reading and praying. For as long as I maintain these in my life, everything else falls into place.
I love these moments with with my spouse, with nature and with God. These are precious moments which I believe we should strive to keep. I was actually thinking of picking up hours at work because I only did 7.5 hours yesterday. I am just happy that I did not give in to that "temptation". I don't think money could buy these moments. These are the times that my husband and I keep in touch with our own personal journeys and share our dreams with each other. These are also moments that we lift these dreams to God for Him to bless us and our family. These are also moments when He speaks to us through the beautiful creation around us.
Just last week, I felt sad looking at the trees losing their beautiful leaves. Now, most trees are just bare skeletons of trunk and branches. But I also noticed that with these changes, the sky was more colorful. I saw a sunrise of pink and soft purple in hue. I also saw sunsets of bright orange and flaming red in the horizon. It's as though nature is trying to compensate for the loss of colors in the leaves.
Then I realized that God was simply pointing out to me that there is not a creation of His that is not good. Everything is good. We only have to learn to adapt our sights to what He sees. Instead of looking at the bare trees, we should look at the blue sky behind it. Then the tree reveals an entirely different beauty of its own against the clear, blue sky. I also began to appreciate the numerous blessings behind the challenges of living in the US.
The lack of maids is a blessing. My husband and I began to know our children in more personal terms. We have learned how to deal with their individual quirks and even appreciate their unique characters. We have grown closer as a family. The 3-day long hours at work are blessings. I saw the kind of husband I have who is so supportive and would not hesitate to give me the most wonderful hand and foot massage in the world. The income-less 4-days off is a blessing as well. These are the times that I am able to do the things that keep me grounded and on track.... like running with him. These are the times that I am able to nurture my spirit and spend more time with my family. These are also the times that I listen to the soft whispers of the spirit within.
Everything has a purpose. Everything has a beauty to reveal. It is just a matter of disposition and attitude. And the best way to remain in that positive attitude is to discover the things that opens up your mind and your spirit to the positive energy around you and to keep on doing these things. For me these are running, writing, reading and praying. For as long as I maintain these in my life, everything else falls into place.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Running the Road Less Travelled
I still feel deep exhilaration as I look at the trees around me. I love the many colorful hues that it exude. It's such a wonder to see one tree bearing leaves of many colors. You could see the green leaves turning to deep red, bright orange and finally joyful yellow before it start to fall. Even when the day is cloudy or gloomy, the rainbow of colors in the foliage keeps my mood upbeat. As I looked back, I saw how my life has changed with the season.
I can say we have adjusted pretty well in the US. I guess the greatest factor which contributed to this smooth adjustment was the expectations we had of this move. We knew why we are here. We knew why we made this choice. We have our dream and vision. And we made sure that we always put this dream and vision before us.
It is so easy to get sidetracked. In this land where your efforts always bear an equivalent compensation, the temptation to just grind the mill and push yourself to the limit in order to earn big is so prevalent. If we came here just for the money, I could easily drive myself to work overtime and work everyday. But the vision and the dream kept us grounded. My husband is now pursuing his dream. It is just a matter of time before I actively pursue mine. In fact, I can say, I have already began to live my vision and my dream. It started the day we went to this specialty store and invested in a good pair of running shoes. It continued to flourish as we started to incorporate running in our routine. As a US migrant, it is important that we are always aware of why we are here. Some people get lost in the world of working for money and spending the money. And before they know it, years have gone by and they continue to run this same rat race.
As we always tell our close friends, my husband and I got into the midlife crisis at an early age. We hit that stage when we started questionning the significance of our medical practice and the meaning of our existence, when we started asking ourselves what we really wanted to do with our lives, and when we started to pursue our own Personal Legends (as how Paulo Coelho puts it in his book The Alchemist). We found friends along the way who shared the same sentiments and who were able to understand and truly relate with the book and with our sentiments. They are the friends who understood our decision to leave the country.
Last year, running has helped me get in touch with myself, deepen my understanding of my spirituality and ignite the flame that continues to burn in me to pursue the dream I believe I am called to be.
Now, as we begin to take on running in a regular way, I know that the course will straighten out for me. Running will keep me grounded, rooted and in touch with the Divine. It will give me respite from worldly cares. It will be the time when I silence myself and allow God to talk and make Himself known to me. It will give me the chance to share my longings and dreams with Him. For I believe that those who ask will receive, those who seek will find, and those who knock, doors will be opened for them.
God does not impose His will upon us. He gave us freedom to exercise our own will. But it is only in the fulfilment of His will that we will experience real happiness, significance and freedom. And that call... that Personal Legend is buried deep in us. We will never feel contented and will remain restless until we have lived the life that we are called to live. And this means taking risks, moving out of our comfort zones and embracing the unknown. For only then will we be able to grow in faith and live our life to the full. 'Whoever tries to save his own life will lose it; whoever loses his life will save it'. Such is the mystery of life.
I can say we have adjusted pretty well in the US. I guess the greatest factor which contributed to this smooth adjustment was the expectations we had of this move. We knew why we are here. We knew why we made this choice. We have our dream and vision. And we made sure that we always put this dream and vision before us.
It is so easy to get sidetracked. In this land where your efforts always bear an equivalent compensation, the temptation to just grind the mill and push yourself to the limit in order to earn big is so prevalent. If we came here just for the money, I could easily drive myself to work overtime and work everyday. But the vision and the dream kept us grounded. My husband is now pursuing his dream. It is just a matter of time before I actively pursue mine. In fact, I can say, I have already began to live my vision and my dream. It started the day we went to this specialty store and invested in a good pair of running shoes. It continued to flourish as we started to incorporate running in our routine. As a US migrant, it is important that we are always aware of why we are here. Some people get lost in the world of working for money and spending the money. And before they know it, years have gone by and they continue to run this same rat race.
As we always tell our close friends, my husband and I got into the midlife crisis at an early age. We hit that stage when we started questionning the significance of our medical practice and the meaning of our existence, when we started asking ourselves what we really wanted to do with our lives, and when we started to pursue our own Personal Legends (as how Paulo Coelho puts it in his book The Alchemist). We found friends along the way who shared the same sentiments and who were able to understand and truly relate with the book and with our sentiments. They are the friends who understood our decision to leave the country.
Last year, running has helped me get in touch with myself, deepen my understanding of my spirituality and ignite the flame that continues to burn in me to pursue the dream I believe I am called to be.
Now, as we begin to take on running in a regular way, I know that the course will straighten out for me. Running will keep me grounded, rooted and in touch with the Divine. It will give me respite from worldly cares. It will be the time when I silence myself and allow God to talk and make Himself known to me. It will give me the chance to share my longings and dreams with Him. For I believe that those who ask will receive, those who seek will find, and those who knock, doors will be opened for them.
God does not impose His will upon us. He gave us freedom to exercise our own will. But it is only in the fulfilment of His will that we will experience real happiness, significance and freedom. And that call... that Personal Legend is buried deep in us. We will never feel contented and will remain restless until we have lived the life that we are called to live. And this means taking risks, moving out of our comfort zones and embracing the unknown. For only then will we be able to grow in faith and live our life to the full. 'Whoever tries to save his own life will lose it; whoever loses his life will save it'. Such is the mystery of life.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Financial Wisdom
I always feel blessed when something major happens to us on a date which commemorates a religious event on the Church calendar. Back in 2005, when we decided to move to a place of our own in the Philippines, the date fell on Pentecost Sunday. Now, when we moved to our apartment here in the US, it was August 15, the Assumption of Mama Mary. Then last week, my much-awaited job started on September 8, the Birthday of Mama Mary. I don't believe in coincidence. For me, these are signs of heavenly blessings.
But one would think, how can I feel blessed when it took so long for me to process my license and get the job. We arrived here last June 14 and I only got my Ohio nursing license on September 1. It was a long wait. But I know things happen for a reason. And usually, only time would reveal where wisdom lies. You only realize the whys when you begin to look back and see how the puzzles fitted to create a perfect picture.
I saw how that waiting period was necessary so that my husband and I could do the research for schools for the kids, for a place for us to stay, have time to adjust to a life without maids, relax as a family, and even sit for our driver's license exam. I knew when I started to feel the routine while I cleaned our place, that the job was coming. And at exactly the first day of September, as I expected it to come, I got my license number. Things started to happen fast where my employment was concerned. And before I knew it, I was already sitting in a small classroom with three other new hires undergoing the orientation for dialysis nursing.
But looking back, I had my doubts as well regarding my employment. There were times when I would get news that there was no opening here in this city and I may have to consider relocating. And there were even options being suggested to me that I should look up other employers so that I can undergo the training while waiting for my license. And in these times, I had to rely heavily on listening to where the Spirit is leading me. As always, it was easy to know. Because I was given the grace to wait. I think that is one peculiar thing about discerning God's will. If you really wanted to do His will, you are given the grace to do it. The waiting period could have easily made me impatient and I could have insisted on looking for somewhere else to work but that did not happen. I just knew deep inside that I had to wait and that things will happen at the right time. That is what I call Grace.
That word "Grace" is not commonly understood by people. I just got to appreciate that word when I stayed some time with the discalced Carmelites in the monastery. There I learned that Grace is something that is freely given from above. It makes you act in a manner which is beyond what your human nature would have made you do. When you are able to keep yourself from making a biting remark when normally you would do it automatically, that is Grace. When you hold yourself, when normally your strong personality would have insisted for your rights and something good comes out of that action, that is Grace. When you admit your mistakes when you usually do not, that is Grace. And acknowledging the Grace of God is the key to humility because you know that you are only capable of doing good because the Spirit is at work in you. And I believe that the only reason why I had so much patience waiting for my license and just accepting things as they are, not fretting about our finances or the lack thereof, is pure Grace.
And while we were living under God's provisions we came to appreciate how He made us financially literate to prepare us for this season of our lives. We learned that we needed to have 3-6 months' worth of living expenses as emergency fund. They say that for employees it is 3 months worth of living expenses and for self-employed it has to be 6 months' worth. Even though we never thought that we would ever find ourselves being "unemployed" we followed this financial advice. And that emergency fund saved us during these last four months of unemployment. And I came to appreciate how God instructed Joseph to advice the pharaoh of Egypt to save 1/5 of the produce during the rich harvests so they could have something for the years of famine. That is just what we did... saved 20% of our income and paid ourselves first.
Seeing how this saved us, we intend to continue doing that same practice of paying ourselves first because obviously the Bible did not mention that story for no reason at all. It was meant to teach us financial wisdom. So when Jesus said we should not worry about what to eat or drink because God our Father would provide us with these things, He meant to let go of the attitude of anxiety and not to embrace the attitude of reckless spending.
But one would think, how can I feel blessed when it took so long for me to process my license and get the job. We arrived here last June 14 and I only got my Ohio nursing license on September 1. It was a long wait. But I know things happen for a reason. And usually, only time would reveal where wisdom lies. You only realize the whys when you begin to look back and see how the puzzles fitted to create a perfect picture.
I saw how that waiting period was necessary so that my husband and I could do the research for schools for the kids, for a place for us to stay, have time to adjust to a life without maids, relax as a family, and even sit for our driver's license exam. I knew when I started to feel the routine while I cleaned our place, that the job was coming. And at exactly the first day of September, as I expected it to come, I got my license number. Things started to happen fast where my employment was concerned. And before I knew it, I was already sitting in a small classroom with three other new hires undergoing the orientation for dialysis nursing.
But looking back, I had my doubts as well regarding my employment. There were times when I would get news that there was no opening here in this city and I may have to consider relocating. And there were even options being suggested to me that I should look up other employers so that I can undergo the training while waiting for my license. And in these times, I had to rely heavily on listening to where the Spirit is leading me. As always, it was easy to know. Because I was given the grace to wait. I think that is one peculiar thing about discerning God's will. If you really wanted to do His will, you are given the grace to do it. The waiting period could have easily made me impatient and I could have insisted on looking for somewhere else to work but that did not happen. I just knew deep inside that I had to wait and that things will happen at the right time. That is what I call Grace.
That word "Grace" is not commonly understood by people. I just got to appreciate that word when I stayed some time with the discalced Carmelites in the monastery. There I learned that Grace is something that is freely given from above. It makes you act in a manner which is beyond what your human nature would have made you do. When you are able to keep yourself from making a biting remark when normally you would do it automatically, that is Grace. When you hold yourself, when normally your strong personality would have insisted for your rights and something good comes out of that action, that is Grace. When you admit your mistakes when you usually do not, that is Grace. And acknowledging the Grace of God is the key to humility because you know that you are only capable of doing good because the Spirit is at work in you. And I believe that the only reason why I had so much patience waiting for my license and just accepting things as they are, not fretting about our finances or the lack thereof, is pure Grace.
And while we were living under God's provisions we came to appreciate how He made us financially literate to prepare us for this season of our lives. We learned that we needed to have 3-6 months' worth of living expenses as emergency fund. They say that for employees it is 3 months worth of living expenses and for self-employed it has to be 6 months' worth. Even though we never thought that we would ever find ourselves being "unemployed" we followed this financial advice. And that emergency fund saved us during these last four months of unemployment. And I came to appreciate how God instructed Joseph to advice the pharaoh of Egypt to save 1/5 of the produce during the rich harvests so they could have something for the years of famine. That is just what we did... saved 20% of our income and paid ourselves first.
Seeing how this saved us, we intend to continue doing that same practice of paying ourselves first because obviously the Bible did not mention that story for no reason at all. It was meant to teach us financial wisdom. So when Jesus said we should not worry about what to eat or drink because God our Father would provide us with these things, He meant to let go of the attitude of anxiety and not to embrace the attitude of reckless spending.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
When God Says "No"
When we left the Philippines, we were already on the verge of buying a house. We've been scouting for properties just before we got our visa appointment interview with the US embassy. So when we arrived in the US last June, my sister-in-law immediately gave a name of a real estate broker to assist us in finding a property here in the US.
Initially, I felt ill at ease since it felt too premature to be purchasing a house immediately especially since we really do not have any credit score to back us up if in case we apply for a mortgage. Nevertheless, I went with the exercise of looking around for properties. But God has His way of using some unusual situations to achieve an entirely different need. With the broker's help, we were able to find a good school for the children because I got hold of documents from him which assisted me with my research in looking for a good school. Further discernment made us decide to choose the Catholic schools over the public schools for the kids.
With the school district out of the deciding factors, we had more options in terms of properties to choose from. There were so many properties on sale and at a very good price at that. Compared to the properties in the Philippines, these properties were really selling at huge discounts. And the interest rates that are prevailing in the market is just as attractive. Another attraction was the incentive of $8,000 for first-time home buyers. Everything seem to be encouraging us to make the move towards purchasing a house rather than renting. So for the next couple of weeks, our broker accompanied us to several properties. Finally after a month or so, we've narrowed down our choice to one particular house. It had most of the things we wanted for a house. And the biggest factor which made it so attractive is that it is located within the community of my sister-in-law's. But when we looked into the mortgage broker's requirements, we knew that we will not qualify for credit.
The thing about being a new immigrant is that nobody trusts you for a credit. They will dig down for credit scores and find nothing in your history and you immediately get rejected for loans or mortgages. What most of our friends did in order to purchase a car is to have someone co-sign with them. But not all creditors would accept this as well. That was why we purchased our car in cash. But this is just not realistic when it comes to purchasing a house.
A friend then suggested that we go for lease to purchase agreement. That sounded like a rent-to-own contract but when I researched further about this agreement, it revealed an entirely different scenario. Excited about this possibility, we informed our broker that we wanted to lease-to-purchase the said property. He was quite perplexed at first, not having done such an agreement before in his 25 years of being a broker. He got us a guy from his office who knew about the stuff and this enabled us to draft an offer to the sellers of the house. After 24 hours, we got our answer. They were not interested in the agreement. This was quite perplexing at first because the house was also offered for lease through a leasing company or for sale through a realtor. Why then were they not open for lease-to-purchase?
We accepted the decision as God's voice telling us "No." So we started looking for apartments in the next week that followed. However, our hearts were still attached to the house. We would always pass by it and claim ownership of the place. Then that weekend, my husband and I just decided to go and rent the place instead, as how the sellers were offering it. The rent was quite steep, at $1800 but for a 4-bedroom house and a huge front and backyard, this seem just reasonable. So we contacted our broker again and told him that we will go for the lease option as offered. Before we finally gave him the go signal, we passed by the house again and saw that the sign of the leasing company was gone and what remained was the sign of the realtor with both lease/sale on it. So we thought, perhaps by some mysterious designs, the sellers are now willing to lease-to-purchase the house. So our broker once again contacted the buyer's broker for a renegotiation. This time, the owners wanted to meet us. This was extremely unusual. Here in the US, it is very rare that the buyer gets to meet the seller face to face when the property involves a realtor. It's usually the brokers who talk and negotiate. So even our broker was quite surprised by this new development. By this time, we were already very good friends with our broker and have established a trusting relationship with him and his wife. So he was also quite excited for us for this sudden turn-around. At this point, I was thinking, that God may just have been putting us to the test. And now, He is orchestrating things to happen so we may get the house of our dreams.
When we finally met up with the buyers, who were also Asians, we were in for a big surprise. Instead of talking about a lease-to-purchase agreement, we were offered instead an owner's financing. They said, since our problem was just the lack of credit history which made us ineligible for a mortgage, they were willing to give us the mortgage instead. When we asked how much downpayment were they asking and at what interest rate, we were shocked to hear that they wanted almost 30% downpayment which was $60,000. We immediately shook our head. If we were to mortgage from a bank, we will only opt for 5-10% downpayment. It is foolish to tie so much cash to a piece of property. My sister-in-law wanted to walk out of the house and got so turned off by the couple. At this point, we were also feeling uncomfortable haggling about the price as they aggressively pushed us to the wall regarding our offer. The brokers then agreed to renegotiate between themselves about the price sensing the tension in the air.
Now, I know why buyers should never meet the sellers. That meeting totally got the house out of our system. The sellers' attitude was such a turn-off, their arrogance so big that they think their house was the only property available and we were so desperate to have it. This was a joke of course since there was no block around the city which bore no "for sale" sign. The market was a buyer's market and the couple looked as though they were living in dream land thinking they can have their cake and eat it too. We graciously walked away.
With that decision, our energy was then focused to finding an apartment to rent. In just two days, we found the place we could call home. And by some mysterious design, though a credit check was required, it was waived. There were other criteria which the property manager decided to forego in favor of us. We were generously given a health worker's discount of 5%, one month free rental for a 13-month lease ($815/month), and even given the go signal to move on the 15th of August though the lease would still be effective on September 1, which means another 14-days of free rent. Obviously, the Hand of God was at work here.... glaringly and without doubt. The speed with which we found the right place, made the decision, moved and got the furniture that we needed was just astounding. Before the school started, we have already moved into the apartment and furnished it. The kids were very excited with their princess bedsheet sets and comforters that they no longer fret about sleeping in a separate room. A couple of trips to Ikea, our favorite store, was just what we needed in order to get the best price for furniture that we really liked.
Services and utilities were just a few phone calls away. Maintenance was also very efficient. The valance of the blinds were promptly replaced, filters of blower was ordered without question, dishwasher was immediately checked, etc. Now, we are just so grateful that we opted to rent first rather than buy that property. Because when we saw the total expense of moving, we realized that all our savings would have gone to the downpayment of the house and we would have been left sleeping on the carpet without furnishings. Of course, God who is our Father would not want His beloved children to be sleeping on the carpet. He wanted a beautiful queen-sized bed with a headboard and pull-out drawers for us. He wanted the girls to be snuggling comfortably in their princess bedsheets. He wanted a comfortable sofa in our living room. He wanted a safe and beautiful community where we only needed to call and help would be at hand. I still got my wonderful kitchen which was very compact with lots of storage and a pantry.
As I was musing over what have transpired these past few weeks, I just realized why things had to happen that way. Initially, I was asking God why He needed to give us false hope about our ex-dream house. Then I got my answer. It was because He wanted to explain to us why He did not want us to rent that house. Aside from the steep price of $1800 that we had to pay for rent, we will be stuck with those kinds of landlords... the kind who are capable of pressing money out of you. He just made a way for us to meet the landlords so we could see for ourselves what we may be dealing with. The apartment search also opened our eyes to other factors that we failed to consider when we thought of renting that huge house.... the cost of heating that place during the winter. With our one-storey apartment sandwiched in the second floor, we could save a lot of energy for heating.
Now, looking at our new home, we can only sigh and thank God for everything. Indeed, when God says "No"... He has something better in mind. We just have to continue to listen, be very sensitive to His subtle moves and keep an open mind and heart for the Spirit's enlightenment. Though He does not really need to explain His ways, His gentle Fatherly love makes Him reveal His wisdom to a heart who listens with trust and complete abandonment.
Initially, I felt ill at ease since it felt too premature to be purchasing a house immediately especially since we really do not have any credit score to back us up if in case we apply for a mortgage. Nevertheless, I went with the exercise of looking around for properties. But God has His way of using some unusual situations to achieve an entirely different need. With the broker's help, we were able to find a good school for the children because I got hold of documents from him which assisted me with my research in looking for a good school. Further discernment made us decide to choose the Catholic schools over the public schools for the kids.
With the school district out of the deciding factors, we had more options in terms of properties to choose from. There were so many properties on sale and at a very good price at that. Compared to the properties in the Philippines, these properties were really selling at huge discounts. And the interest rates that are prevailing in the market is just as attractive. Another attraction was the incentive of $8,000 for first-time home buyers. Everything seem to be encouraging us to make the move towards purchasing a house rather than renting. So for the next couple of weeks, our broker accompanied us to several properties. Finally after a month or so, we've narrowed down our choice to one particular house. It had most of the things we wanted for a house. And the biggest factor which made it so attractive is that it is located within the community of my sister-in-law's. But when we looked into the mortgage broker's requirements, we knew that we will not qualify for credit.
The thing about being a new immigrant is that nobody trusts you for a credit. They will dig down for credit scores and find nothing in your history and you immediately get rejected for loans or mortgages. What most of our friends did in order to purchase a car is to have someone co-sign with them. But not all creditors would accept this as well. That was why we purchased our car in cash. But this is just not realistic when it comes to purchasing a house.
A friend then suggested that we go for lease to purchase agreement. That sounded like a rent-to-own contract but when I researched further about this agreement, it revealed an entirely different scenario. Excited about this possibility, we informed our broker that we wanted to lease-to-purchase the said property. He was quite perplexed at first, not having done such an agreement before in his 25 years of being a broker. He got us a guy from his office who knew about the stuff and this enabled us to draft an offer to the sellers of the house. After 24 hours, we got our answer. They were not interested in the agreement. This was quite perplexing at first because the house was also offered for lease through a leasing company or for sale through a realtor. Why then were they not open for lease-to-purchase?
We accepted the decision as God's voice telling us "No." So we started looking for apartments in the next week that followed. However, our hearts were still attached to the house. We would always pass by it and claim ownership of the place. Then that weekend, my husband and I just decided to go and rent the place instead, as how the sellers were offering it. The rent was quite steep, at $1800 but for a 4-bedroom house and a huge front and backyard, this seem just reasonable. So we contacted our broker again and told him that we will go for the lease option as offered. Before we finally gave him the go signal, we passed by the house again and saw that the sign of the leasing company was gone and what remained was the sign of the realtor with both lease/sale on it. So we thought, perhaps by some mysterious designs, the sellers are now willing to lease-to-purchase the house. So our broker once again contacted the buyer's broker for a renegotiation. This time, the owners wanted to meet us. This was extremely unusual. Here in the US, it is very rare that the buyer gets to meet the seller face to face when the property involves a realtor. It's usually the brokers who talk and negotiate. So even our broker was quite surprised by this new development. By this time, we were already very good friends with our broker and have established a trusting relationship with him and his wife. So he was also quite excited for us for this sudden turn-around. At this point, I was thinking, that God may just have been putting us to the test. And now, He is orchestrating things to happen so we may get the house of our dreams.
When we finally met up with the buyers, who were also Asians, we were in for a big surprise. Instead of talking about a lease-to-purchase agreement, we were offered instead an owner's financing. They said, since our problem was just the lack of credit history which made us ineligible for a mortgage, they were willing to give us the mortgage instead. When we asked how much downpayment were they asking and at what interest rate, we were shocked to hear that they wanted almost 30% downpayment which was $60,000. We immediately shook our head. If we were to mortgage from a bank, we will only opt for 5-10% downpayment. It is foolish to tie so much cash to a piece of property. My sister-in-law wanted to walk out of the house and got so turned off by the couple. At this point, we were also feeling uncomfortable haggling about the price as they aggressively pushed us to the wall regarding our offer. The brokers then agreed to renegotiate between themselves about the price sensing the tension in the air.
Now, I know why buyers should never meet the sellers. That meeting totally got the house out of our system. The sellers' attitude was such a turn-off, their arrogance so big that they think their house was the only property available and we were so desperate to have it. This was a joke of course since there was no block around the city which bore no "for sale" sign. The market was a buyer's market and the couple looked as though they were living in dream land thinking they can have their cake and eat it too. We graciously walked away.
With that decision, our energy was then focused to finding an apartment to rent. In just two days, we found the place we could call home. And by some mysterious design, though a credit check was required, it was waived. There were other criteria which the property manager decided to forego in favor of us. We were generously given a health worker's discount of 5%, one month free rental for a 13-month lease ($815/month), and even given the go signal to move on the 15th of August though the lease would still be effective on September 1, which means another 14-days of free rent. Obviously, the Hand of God was at work here.... glaringly and without doubt. The speed with which we found the right place, made the decision, moved and got the furniture that we needed was just astounding. Before the school started, we have already moved into the apartment and furnished it. The kids were very excited with their princess bedsheet sets and comforters that they no longer fret about sleeping in a separate room. A couple of trips to Ikea, our favorite store, was just what we needed in order to get the best price for furniture that we really liked.
Services and utilities were just a few phone calls away. Maintenance was also very efficient. The valance of the blinds were promptly replaced, filters of blower was ordered without question, dishwasher was immediately checked, etc. Now, we are just so grateful that we opted to rent first rather than buy that property. Because when we saw the total expense of moving, we realized that all our savings would have gone to the downpayment of the house and we would have been left sleeping on the carpet without furnishings. Of course, God who is our Father would not want His beloved children to be sleeping on the carpet. He wanted a beautiful queen-sized bed with a headboard and pull-out drawers for us. He wanted the girls to be snuggling comfortably in their princess bedsheets. He wanted a comfortable sofa in our living room. He wanted a safe and beautiful community where we only needed to call and help would be at hand. I still got my wonderful kitchen which was very compact with lots of storage and a pantry.
As I was musing over what have transpired these past few weeks, I just realized why things had to happen that way. Initially, I was asking God why He needed to give us false hope about our ex-dream house. Then I got my answer. It was because He wanted to explain to us why He did not want us to rent that house. Aside from the steep price of $1800 that we had to pay for rent, we will be stuck with those kinds of landlords... the kind who are capable of pressing money out of you. He just made a way for us to meet the landlords so we could see for ourselves what we may be dealing with. The apartment search also opened our eyes to other factors that we failed to consider when we thought of renting that huge house.... the cost of heating that place during the winter. With our one-storey apartment sandwiched in the second floor, we could save a lot of energy for heating.
Now, looking at our new home, we can only sigh and thank God for everything. Indeed, when God says "No"... He has something better in mind. We just have to continue to listen, be very sensitive to His subtle moves and keep an open mind and heart for the Spirit's enlightenment. Though He does not really need to explain His ways, His gentle Fatherly love makes Him reveal His wisdom to a heart who listens with trust and complete abandonment.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
How We Passed the Road Test for Driver's License on our First Take
Here in Ohio, in order to obtain a driver's license, you need to pass two examinations: the knowledge test and the driving test. Passing the knowledge test for me and my husband was a breeze. All the information was written on the booklet that the BMV gave out. I read it twice and memorized the important points. Alvin actually got a perfect score. I got one mistake, too bad, hahaha. Then we made a schedule for the driving test. The earliest date that we could get was after one month. That, for me, was ample time to be confident on the road. Driving within Cincinnati and doing 2 hours going to Pennsylvania and another 4 hours from Maryland to West Virginia gave me that needed boost in morale. We also interviewed and obtained tips from friends who took the exams.
Anyway, the road test consisted of two parts as well: the road test and the maneuverability test. I did well with the road test, having gotten used to driving in small roads, main roads and freeways. What almost killed me was the maneuverability test because the Mitsubishi Endeavor was so wide that I kept on hitting the left poles. On my third try, my husband was already calling home and asking my little angels to pray with their aunt that I will succeed, otherwise, I will flunk the test. I was also bombarding heaven with my own prayers as the inspector alighted the Endeavor and checked the poles to see if I knocked down the marker or caused the marker to be bumped off the painted red square (which will give me an outright failure score of 26). Anyway, just for an overview, there is a Road Test Scoring Sheet that the inspector carries with her. There are equivalent points that they deduct for every error you make in both the Road Test and the Maneuverability Test.
So for the Road Test, the greatest deduction is 15 points which they give for following errors: Failure to yield to pedestrian and failure to yield to other traffic. The rule is that when you see a pedestrian step down on the road, even if you can still pass by, you must stop and allow the pedestrian to cross. Yielding to other traffic requires knowledge of right of way especially in intersections with 4-point Stop Signs. Other point deductions are as follows, 10 points if you follow too closely or if you violate speed limit. My husband got a deduction on the speed limit thing because when he crossed an intersection the speed limit suddenly changed from 35 to 25 mph. He just slowed down but only managed to reach 32 mph. I guess he was driving at speeds between 35-40 mph (a 5 mph over the speed limit which is still allowable). When it was my turn, I made sure I stepped a little on the brake to bring down the speedometer between 25-30 mph. That was a blessing because I got no deductions for the road test, which gave me enough leeway to make two mistakes in the maneuverability test as I will explain later. Anyway, other minor errors which will cause you 5 point deductions are: failure to properly check traffic before pulling into traffic, straddling lanes or driving in center of road, changing lanes without properly checking traffic to rear, making unnecessary stops on roadway, improper steering (erratic, weaving), improper braking (too early/late, jerky), driving too fast/slow for conditions, failing to stop in position to see in all directions, failing to look in all directions, improper observance of stop sign/traffic light.
Just a note on STOP signs especially for fellow Filipino immigrants who are not used to this STOP sign. The inspector really wants you to make a complete stop just before the sign before you proceed. However, stopping too long will also cause points to be deducted on you. So some would suggest saying S-T-O-P for the right interval before moving. What I do is to step on the brakes, look at the right then at the left, then proceed if clear. As for the traffic lights, there are "opportunity right turns" whereby you can turn right on red signal if there is no sign indicating that you can only turn right on green. Opportunity left turns on the other hand means that there is no left green arrow for you but only green sign. So you need to allow approaching cars going through the intersection first and can only make a left when the intersection is clear of approaching cars. This can be quite tricky especially if the traffic light changes too soon and there is a long line of cars coming from the opposite direction.
Additional errors that will cause you 5 point deductions are failure to signal change of lanes, failure to signal turns/stops, improper signals (wrong, too soon/late), improper approach to turn, improper speed (too fast/slow), driving into improper lane, turning too wide/short, or improper vehicle position to turn. Again all the information on the proper way to do all these are written in the BMV manual. So if you are the obsessive-compulsive type who really sticks to the rules, you will pass the test with flying colors.
Minor errors that will cause 2 point deductions on the road test are failure to use windshield wipers and/or defrosters (so do not take the test during winter or on a rainy day so you do not have to worry about this), spending too much time starting engine, selecting wrong gear, staying in the same gear too long (yes, you guessed it right... you will make less mistakes with an automatic), not releasing emergency brakes, not starting/stopping smoothly or stalling vehicle, or hesitating too long for conditions.
Now for the maneuverability test, this is how they will deduct points from you: 2 points if you stop to check progress, 5 points if you do not stop in parallel with the course or misjudging stopping points, 10 points if you strike a marker (which I did twice!) and 26 points (a failure because you should only have 25 maximum points for deductions) for the following dangerous actions: knocking down the marker (which I thought I did!), bumping a marker off the printed square (again, I thought I also committed this... apparently almost, but not quite), traffic crash or any dangerous action. They give immediate failure if you get involved in a traffic crash, you perform one of the above dangerous actions, make serious violation (red light, stop sign, yield to traffic and others), refuse to follow instructions or unable to follow instructions.
Well, to end the story, when I made my third try of backing up to the course markers, I finally did it. Praise God! Having passed the test after one take is such sweet glory and I am taking efforts to share the content of the Road Test Scoring Sheet in a very detailed fashion so that others will not have to take it twice, thrice or even enroll in a driving school just to pass the driving test. One very helpful tip that was shared to us is that when you back up the car, make sure both your hands stay on the steering wheel. This was a very useful piece of information because my husband and I are used to backing our cars with the right hand behind the passenger seat. We would have flunked the test have we done just that during the backing up phase of the maneuverability test. Thank God for sending His angels in the guise of families and friends. :)
Anyway, the road test consisted of two parts as well: the road test and the maneuverability test. I did well with the road test, having gotten used to driving in small roads, main roads and freeways. What almost killed me was the maneuverability test because the Mitsubishi Endeavor was so wide that I kept on hitting the left poles. On my third try, my husband was already calling home and asking my little angels to pray with their aunt that I will succeed, otherwise, I will flunk the test. I was also bombarding heaven with my own prayers as the inspector alighted the Endeavor and checked the poles to see if I knocked down the marker or caused the marker to be bumped off the painted red square (which will give me an outright failure score of 26). Anyway, just for an overview, there is a Road Test Scoring Sheet that the inspector carries with her. There are equivalent points that they deduct for every error you make in both the Road Test and the Maneuverability Test.
So for the Road Test, the greatest deduction is 15 points which they give for following errors: Failure to yield to pedestrian and failure to yield to other traffic. The rule is that when you see a pedestrian step down on the road, even if you can still pass by, you must stop and allow the pedestrian to cross. Yielding to other traffic requires knowledge of right of way especially in intersections with 4-point Stop Signs. Other point deductions are as follows, 10 points if you follow too closely or if you violate speed limit. My husband got a deduction on the speed limit thing because when he crossed an intersection the speed limit suddenly changed from 35 to 25 mph. He just slowed down but only managed to reach 32 mph. I guess he was driving at speeds between 35-40 mph (a 5 mph over the speed limit which is still allowable). When it was my turn, I made sure I stepped a little on the brake to bring down the speedometer between 25-30 mph. That was a blessing because I got no deductions for the road test, which gave me enough leeway to make two mistakes in the maneuverability test as I will explain later. Anyway, other minor errors which will cause you 5 point deductions are: failure to properly check traffic before pulling into traffic, straddling lanes or driving in center of road, changing lanes without properly checking traffic to rear, making unnecessary stops on roadway, improper steering (erratic, weaving), improper braking (too early/late, jerky), driving too fast/slow for conditions, failing to stop in position to see in all directions, failing to look in all directions, improper observance of stop sign/traffic light.
Just a note on STOP signs especially for fellow Filipino immigrants who are not used to this STOP sign. The inspector really wants you to make a complete stop just before the sign before you proceed. However, stopping too long will also cause points to be deducted on you. So some would suggest saying S-T-O-P for the right interval before moving. What I do is to step on the brakes, look at the right then at the left, then proceed if clear. As for the traffic lights, there are "opportunity right turns" whereby you can turn right on red signal if there is no sign indicating that you can only turn right on green. Opportunity left turns on the other hand means that there is no left green arrow for you but only green sign. So you need to allow approaching cars going through the intersection first and can only make a left when the intersection is clear of approaching cars. This can be quite tricky especially if the traffic light changes too soon and there is a long line of cars coming from the opposite direction.
Additional errors that will cause you 5 point deductions are failure to signal change of lanes, failure to signal turns/stops, improper signals (wrong, too soon/late), improper approach to turn, improper speed (too fast/slow), driving into improper lane, turning too wide/short, or improper vehicle position to turn. Again all the information on the proper way to do all these are written in the BMV manual. So if you are the obsessive-compulsive type who really sticks to the rules, you will pass the test with flying colors.
Minor errors that will cause 2 point deductions on the road test are failure to use windshield wipers and/or defrosters (so do not take the test during winter or on a rainy day so you do not have to worry about this), spending too much time starting engine, selecting wrong gear, staying in the same gear too long (yes, you guessed it right... you will make less mistakes with an automatic), not releasing emergency brakes, not starting/stopping smoothly or stalling vehicle, or hesitating too long for conditions.
Now for the maneuverability test, this is how they will deduct points from you: 2 points if you stop to check progress, 5 points if you do not stop in parallel with the course or misjudging stopping points, 10 points if you strike a marker (which I did twice!) and 26 points (a failure because you should only have 25 maximum points for deductions) for the following dangerous actions: knocking down the marker (which I thought I did!), bumping a marker off the printed square (again, I thought I also committed this... apparently almost, but not quite), traffic crash or any dangerous action. They give immediate failure if you get involved in a traffic crash, you perform one of the above dangerous actions, make serious violation (red light, stop sign, yield to traffic and others), refuse to follow instructions or unable to follow instructions.
Well, to end the story, when I made my third try of backing up to the course markers, I finally did it. Praise God! Having passed the test after one take is such sweet glory and I am taking efforts to share the content of the Road Test Scoring Sheet in a very detailed fashion so that others will not have to take it twice, thrice or even enroll in a driving school just to pass the driving test. One very helpful tip that was shared to us is that when you back up the car, make sure both your hands stay on the steering wheel. This was a very useful piece of information because my husband and I are used to backing our cars with the right hand behind the passenger seat. We would have flunked the test have we done just that during the backing up phase of the maneuverability test. Thank God for sending His angels in the guise of families and friends. :)
In Honor of Ninoy and Cory Aquino
I just watched the eulogy of Kris Aquino in youtube and could not stop crying incessantly. Just the opening salvo of the first part of the video already made me remember Cory and the second part which contained the vow was just as equally moving. And even though I am not a big fan of Kris, I am now beginning to understand that God can still write straight with our crooked lines. When she made a vow to support her brother to carry on what their parents have started because the two of them are in the best positions to do so, I begin to feel some kind of hope for the Philippines again. The Aquino couple, Ninoy and Cory have indeed given so much of themselves for the Filipinos and keep on insisting that the Filipinos are worth fighting for, even when a lot of others would think otherwise. I think what is most remarkable with these two leaders are their profound devotion to our Lady who have been with them in their struggle to help this country which always seem to be struggling with the problems of poverty and corruption.
A close family friend, Fr. Ben Nebres who happens to be the president of Ateneo de Manila University gave a homily in honor of President Corazon Aquino. What struck me the most was this line. 'We thank her for leading us, we who are a not an easy people to lead. We are often a difficult and fractious nation. There must have been times when she felt like crying out with Moses in Exodus: “How can I alone bear the crushing burden that you are, along with your bickering”.' I could not agree more. I think I mentioned in my previous blogs that I have been reading the Bible in a marathon fashion and I have already finished with the New Testament, and have been so amazed to find so many things written there that I never thought happened. Now I am in the Old Testament and at the part where Moses already died and the Israelites are entrusted to the new prophet Joshua. So I have seen how Moses struggled with leading the Israelites and indeed how rebellious and stubborn they could be. This just reminded me of the Filipinos back home.
Prior to our own exodus from the Philippines, I have been saying that the Filipinos who constantly flock the street with their rallies will never find a leader who they will find worthy enough to lead them. Even if the Pope himself will become the president, they will always find something wrong about the system and the leadership and will still go to the streets and rally. I think it's a form of livelihood, lifestyle or something. It's a rebellious nation. And those who have been praying and hoping for a new leader, a better leader, a good leader to lead this nation into salvation, are still in the dark whether the time will ever come when someone can fill that position. And I guess just like a lot of well-meaning Filipinos, I am still one of those who continue to hope, eventhough when I am also beginning to doubt.
Being here in a foreign land makes me see the tremendous difference in the system. The most obvious difference is the order with which things are being done and implemented. I have described before how efficient people are in providing the services needed without additional bribe money. I guess it's part of the poverty mentality. Because the Philippines have been in lack and impoverished for such a long time that the people have gotten used to the struggle. There always seem to be a struggle to get ahead, to be the first, otherwise you will be left with nothing. Even in church, you can see this scarcity mentality. When you fall in line for communion, people would rush to the center aisle. Sometimes, people in line would even refuse to make you cut in. There is that fear that the hosts would not be enough for the people. You have to go first. And there is some basis for this. Because I have seen how it is during Christmases or Holidays when indeed the church runs out of hosts. So at the end of the line, you only get 1/8 of a host or a teeny-tiny crumb or worst, you leave the line not having received the body of Christ at all. But here in the US, there is order. People know that there will always be enough for everyone. So they fall in line row by row. Nobody goes to the center aisle from the back row ahead of the ones in the front row in a hasty fashion.
This attitude is also evident on the road. When you drive here, people are more generous in giving way and making you enter a lane. Then traffic flows more freely. No car would go out of the line to get ahead of the others. Again, a far contrast to what we experience back home. Takot malamangan. Again, another poverty mentality. That's why I totally support Bo Sanchez's efforts in combatting this poverty and scarcity mentality because that is what's keeping the nation from improving. Because of this mentality, the people are inhibited from thinking outside of themselves and their family. Greediness and selfishness are nurtured from this mentality. It is then important to think of the world as abundant and have more than enough for everyone. Again, this is easier said than done when you are in the Philippines, especially when you experience being taken advantaged of.
That's why my admiration goes for the late Aquinos who gave so much of themselves for the Philippines and my hope is that Kris and Noynoy would make good their promise to follow the footsteps of their parents. My prayer is that a new generation of believers be honed by God to lead the nation and put order and system to this nation which has been struggling for years and years. And may the constituents be blessed with the grace to believe and follow the new leaders.
A close family friend, Fr. Ben Nebres who happens to be the president of Ateneo de Manila University gave a homily in honor of President Corazon Aquino. What struck me the most was this line. 'We thank her for leading us, we who are a not an easy people to lead. We are often a difficult and fractious nation. There must have been times when she felt like crying out with Moses in Exodus: “How can I alone bear the crushing burden that you are, along with your bickering”.' I could not agree more. I think I mentioned in my previous blogs that I have been reading the Bible in a marathon fashion and I have already finished with the New Testament, and have been so amazed to find so many things written there that I never thought happened. Now I am in the Old Testament and at the part where Moses already died and the Israelites are entrusted to the new prophet Joshua. So I have seen how Moses struggled with leading the Israelites and indeed how rebellious and stubborn they could be. This just reminded me of the Filipinos back home.
Prior to our own exodus from the Philippines, I have been saying that the Filipinos who constantly flock the street with their rallies will never find a leader who they will find worthy enough to lead them. Even if the Pope himself will become the president, they will always find something wrong about the system and the leadership and will still go to the streets and rally. I think it's a form of livelihood, lifestyle or something. It's a rebellious nation. And those who have been praying and hoping for a new leader, a better leader, a good leader to lead this nation into salvation, are still in the dark whether the time will ever come when someone can fill that position. And I guess just like a lot of well-meaning Filipinos, I am still one of those who continue to hope, eventhough when I am also beginning to doubt.
Being here in a foreign land makes me see the tremendous difference in the system. The most obvious difference is the order with which things are being done and implemented. I have described before how efficient people are in providing the services needed without additional bribe money. I guess it's part of the poverty mentality. Because the Philippines have been in lack and impoverished for such a long time that the people have gotten used to the struggle. There always seem to be a struggle to get ahead, to be the first, otherwise you will be left with nothing. Even in church, you can see this scarcity mentality. When you fall in line for communion, people would rush to the center aisle. Sometimes, people in line would even refuse to make you cut in. There is that fear that the hosts would not be enough for the people. You have to go first. And there is some basis for this. Because I have seen how it is during Christmases or Holidays when indeed the church runs out of hosts. So at the end of the line, you only get 1/8 of a host or a teeny-tiny crumb or worst, you leave the line not having received the body of Christ at all. But here in the US, there is order. People know that there will always be enough for everyone. So they fall in line row by row. Nobody goes to the center aisle from the back row ahead of the ones in the front row in a hasty fashion.
This attitude is also evident on the road. When you drive here, people are more generous in giving way and making you enter a lane. Then traffic flows more freely. No car would go out of the line to get ahead of the others. Again, a far contrast to what we experience back home. Takot malamangan. Again, another poverty mentality. That's why I totally support Bo Sanchez's efforts in combatting this poverty and scarcity mentality because that is what's keeping the nation from improving. Because of this mentality, the people are inhibited from thinking outside of themselves and their family. Greediness and selfishness are nurtured from this mentality. It is then important to think of the world as abundant and have more than enough for everyone. Again, this is easier said than done when you are in the Philippines, especially when you experience being taken advantaged of.
That's why my admiration goes for the late Aquinos who gave so much of themselves for the Philippines and my hope is that Kris and Noynoy would make good their promise to follow the footsteps of their parents. My prayer is that a new generation of believers be honed by God to lead the nation and put order and system to this nation which has been struggling for years and years. And may the constituents be blessed with the grace to believe and follow the new leaders.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Discernment in Every Decision
I was completely bothered by a story that I heard regarding the aunt of a friend. She was now in the process of applying for US citizenship but she encountered a serious problem. The USCIS is claiming that she has committed fraud and deceived her former employer because she did not work at the original job placement but instead requested to be transferred to another state. Now, she had to hire a lawyer to defend her case. Since she no longer have any documents at hand to prove that indeed the transfer was valid and was done by her recruiter, and her recruiter are hands off about the issue, she runs the risk of being deported in this process. Imagine, after having worked for 5 years here in the US with the dream of becoming a US citizen just within hand's reach, it is now turning into a complete nightmare.
I remembered just a couple of months ago while I was still in the Philippines, my employer who petitioned for me informed me that there are still no opening here in Cincinnati, OH. I was adamant nevertheless to go to Cincinnati as this was the one stated in my job offer letter and we have a support system in this city. Then my London-based recruiter offered me three options, 1) I will wait until there will be an opening for me in this city, 2) I will go for the headhunter of my recruiter who will place me with another employer, different from the one who petitioned for me and my family, 3) I will buy out my contract from the recruiting agency and be a free agent.
I asked for advice and opinions from former classmates in my nursing school who are now currently working here in the US. One classmate told me that if I do options 2 or 3, I must make sure that I get a document that states that the one who petitioned for me is freeing me of any liability from the job offer that I signed with them. She said that this will affect my status in the future when I decide to apply for US citizenship. I thought that this was just hearsay. Nevertheless, I kept that advise at the back of my mind while I waited for my employer to contact me and give some light as to what my status is going to be.
But now, having heard this story firsthand, it confirms an answer to the prayer which I have been asking for. I have been discerning and asking God to give me a sign as to His will regarding the option to take with regards my work. It is difficult to discern God's will. Unlike in the times of Moses where the people will only have to ask Moses to ask God face-to-face about a certain issue and they get their answer loud and clear, now it is not as simple and straightforward as that. Now, you need the gift of discernment to discern God's will.
What I usually do after lifting the question to God is wait. It does not just come immediately. First, I wait for events to happen. I present my plans to God and ask Him to bless it if it is His will. Then I implement the plan. If it meets resistance and block, then I stop. Perhaps, this is not God's way. If there is no encouragement to go on but instead, other events will unfold which leads to a different way, then I test that way with continued prayer that God lead me and make it clear to me that this is His way. Then an affirmation will further come in the form of inspired message through the Bible, an advice from family or friend, a priest saying the homily, through inspirational books or e-newsletters. However if the initial block or resistance will give an inner urging to remain steadfast and keep on trying, then there is the grace to continue and then doors start to open, then God is simply testing my convictions regarding a decision. I have also learned that He does not want puppets who simply follow Him blindly out of fear of failure. He also wants people who strongly seek His will, and even with resistance, fights for it and is convicted to seek His blessings. And the final test in knowing if it is truly His will is the experience of peace and inner joy after having made the decision.
After having gone through tumultuous moments of indecision and impatience, I have finally decided to stick with the contract with my original employer. I made that silent decision last week, even when I still did not hear from them. Then after having made such a decision, I suddenly got word that there is an opening here in Cincinnati. Though it was slow in coming, I knew this was where God was leading me. Then affirmations were beginning to come in the form of inspired messages and stories. Now, it is slowly becoming clearer to me. Everything happens in God's perfect timing. And I should not be afraid with my decisions as long as I keep on surrendering them to God because when I get misled, He usually straightens it immediately. Indeed, everything works out for good for those who love God and those who are called according to His purpose.
I remembered just a couple of months ago while I was still in the Philippines, my employer who petitioned for me informed me that there are still no opening here in Cincinnati, OH. I was adamant nevertheless to go to Cincinnati as this was the one stated in my job offer letter and we have a support system in this city. Then my London-based recruiter offered me three options, 1) I will wait until there will be an opening for me in this city, 2) I will go for the headhunter of my recruiter who will place me with another employer, different from the one who petitioned for me and my family, 3) I will buy out my contract from the recruiting agency and be a free agent.
I asked for advice and opinions from former classmates in my nursing school who are now currently working here in the US. One classmate told me that if I do options 2 or 3, I must make sure that I get a document that states that the one who petitioned for me is freeing me of any liability from the job offer that I signed with them. She said that this will affect my status in the future when I decide to apply for US citizenship. I thought that this was just hearsay. Nevertheless, I kept that advise at the back of my mind while I waited for my employer to contact me and give some light as to what my status is going to be.
But now, having heard this story firsthand, it confirms an answer to the prayer which I have been asking for. I have been discerning and asking God to give me a sign as to His will regarding the option to take with regards my work. It is difficult to discern God's will. Unlike in the times of Moses where the people will only have to ask Moses to ask God face-to-face about a certain issue and they get their answer loud and clear, now it is not as simple and straightforward as that. Now, you need the gift of discernment to discern God's will.
What I usually do after lifting the question to God is wait. It does not just come immediately. First, I wait for events to happen. I present my plans to God and ask Him to bless it if it is His will. Then I implement the plan. If it meets resistance and block, then I stop. Perhaps, this is not God's way. If there is no encouragement to go on but instead, other events will unfold which leads to a different way, then I test that way with continued prayer that God lead me and make it clear to me that this is His way. Then an affirmation will further come in the form of inspired message through the Bible, an advice from family or friend, a priest saying the homily, through inspirational books or e-newsletters. However if the initial block or resistance will give an inner urging to remain steadfast and keep on trying, then there is the grace to continue and then doors start to open, then God is simply testing my convictions regarding a decision. I have also learned that He does not want puppets who simply follow Him blindly out of fear of failure. He also wants people who strongly seek His will, and even with resistance, fights for it and is convicted to seek His blessings. And the final test in knowing if it is truly His will is the experience of peace and inner joy after having made the decision.
After having gone through tumultuous moments of indecision and impatience, I have finally decided to stick with the contract with my original employer. I made that silent decision last week, even when I still did not hear from them. Then after having made such a decision, I suddenly got word that there is an opening here in Cincinnati. Though it was slow in coming, I knew this was where God was leading me. Then affirmations were beginning to come in the form of inspired messages and stories. Now, it is slowly becoming clearer to me. Everything happens in God's perfect timing. And I should not be afraid with my decisions as long as I keep on surrendering them to God because when I get misled, He usually straightens it immediately. Indeed, everything works out for good for those who love God and those who are called according to His purpose.
Welcome Back Readrunner
Last year, I was introduced to running and fell in love with it. As a result, I have discovered my other passion in life which is writing. I started a blog on running, http://readrunner.blogspot.com and even managed to write a book about running and spirituality. I would say that I have entered a point in my life where I began to yearn for something else other than a successful career. I was drawn to read books like "From Success to Significance" by Lloyd Reeb; "The Alchemist, The Pilgrimage, Brida and The Fifth Mountain" by Paulo Coelho; I began to write down my vision, personal mission statement in life, listed down the important goals that I wanted to achieve... in short, I had a midlife crisis in a positive note. All these happened, I believe, because the spiritual part of me was stimulated by the physical exercise that my body experienced.
Today, I woke up at just before 7:00am and felt the need to go out and push my body once more. The last time I ran was six months ago. I definitely missed it. My body felt so sluggish and unprepared so I decided that I will just go out for a walk. The sky was cloudy and the neighborhood was still quiet. I can just hear the chirping of the birds and even the sounds of the cricket. Occasional cars would pass by. As I walked to my favorite street where our dream house stood, my mind went back to the vision that I have written six months ago... and now, I just saw its fulfilment.... "I run every morning in an enclosed subdivision where our dream house is located." I read my vision and mission statement everyday believing that it will hasten the process of its fulfilment. At that time, I was simply thinking of a private, enclosed subdivision in the Philippines. That was why in the early part of January, my husband and I started to look for a house in an enclosed subdivision. Then I got the immigrant visa schedule and we were caught in a whirlwind. When we decided that we will go for it, I felt ill at ease reading the vision and mission statements because I could not visualize this in the US.
But now, as I was walking in this wonderful neighborhood, I was simply astounded. God gave me something better. The sidewalk was well maintained and meant for walking or running, the lawns are well kept with no high concrete fences, the air was crisp and clean, there were no dogs or dog poops... then I remembered that vision statement. It is so queer that even when the mind cannot conceive it, the heart that believes achieves it all the same. There are still many part of that vision that have yet to be fulfilled but now, as I saw the first part come into fruition, or almost fruition I am once again motivated to read my vision and mission statement everyday again. And I am also moved to put back an exercise routine so I can get back into my running form. For now, the only running that I did was the last two minutes of the 20 minutes that I was out because then, it started to rain. My goal today was to simply break in my body and walk briskly. But the running that I did uphill ignited that desire once more to run.
Today, I woke up at just before 7:00am and felt the need to go out and push my body once more. The last time I ran was six months ago. I definitely missed it. My body felt so sluggish and unprepared so I decided that I will just go out for a walk. The sky was cloudy and the neighborhood was still quiet. I can just hear the chirping of the birds and even the sounds of the cricket. Occasional cars would pass by. As I walked to my favorite street where our dream house stood, my mind went back to the vision that I have written six months ago... and now, I just saw its fulfilment.... "I run every morning in an enclosed subdivision where our dream house is located." I read my vision and mission statement everyday believing that it will hasten the process of its fulfilment. At that time, I was simply thinking of a private, enclosed subdivision in the Philippines. That was why in the early part of January, my husband and I started to look for a house in an enclosed subdivision. Then I got the immigrant visa schedule and we were caught in a whirlwind. When we decided that we will go for it, I felt ill at ease reading the vision and mission statements because I could not visualize this in the US.
But now, as I was walking in this wonderful neighborhood, I was simply astounded. God gave me something better. The sidewalk was well maintained and meant for walking or running, the lawns are well kept with no high concrete fences, the air was crisp and clean, there were no dogs or dog poops... then I remembered that vision statement. It is so queer that even when the mind cannot conceive it, the heart that believes achieves it all the same. There are still many part of that vision that have yet to be fulfilled but now, as I saw the first part come into fruition, or almost fruition I am once again motivated to read my vision and mission statement everyday again. And I am also moved to put back an exercise routine so I can get back into my running form. For now, the only running that I did was the last two minutes of the 20 minutes that I was out because then, it started to rain. My goal today was to simply break in my body and walk briskly. But the running that I did uphill ignited that desire once more to run.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Spirit of Gratitude
It's always the waiting that kills people. Waiting for my license to get processed seem to take forever. It's been four months that I have not worked, since the move and transition in April, the Europe vacation in May, the move to US in June and now I am just itching to get moving. Some of my friends envies our position. But it feels like being retired without a pension plan. Now, we have an idea of how it is if there was no retirement fund to sustain a retiree. Retirement is just no fun at all. We watch our expenses closely and make sure we stay within our budget so it can still sustain us for 2-3 months if it gets to that. But am definitely feeling restless.
The past few weeks, I have been reading the part of the Old Testament where the Israelites spent 40 days in the desert. It has been more than 40 days for us since our exodus. But contrary to the Israelites experience of regret and endless complaining, we are not feeling any of those emotions. We are still in the spirit of gratitude because so far, we have been adequately provided and there have been numerous blessings that was brought to us. I guess, during the 40 days in the desert, it is patience that the Lord develops in each of us. With patience, trust and faith are nurtured because we are called to wait and be silent. In this world of constant pace, of busy schedules, being thrown into this spirit of waiting is a big challenge. I think the reason why the Lord instructed Moses to write down His commandments, His laws and all the wondrous deeds He has done for the Israelites is primarily to make the people remember.
So for me, it has become important to write down His blessings and His wondrous deeds as well. Because it will definitely make me remember especially when the heat of the desert begins to scorch, when the sand just seem to go nowhere and there is just an endless road which leads to a hazy horizon. It is important to remain in a spirit of gratitude because I have learned in the past that those are the doors where blessings seep through. So now, I start to count my blessings. I thank God for giving our family this chance to be together, without our busy schedules; I thank God for the beautiful sunrise and sunset that I witness everyday; I thank God for my daughters who are happily singing and playing together; I thank God for the parish priest who has been very kind in deferring the payment of the tuition fees of my daughter while we wait for our employment; I thank God for the thoughtfulness of the same parish priest who came up to us in church just to ask how we were doing; I thank God for the very generous admissions officer who volunteered to give the uniforms of her daughter to my 9-year-old daughter because she will be moving to a higher level with a different set of uniforms; I thank God for the opportunities where my husband is able to exercise his talent in photography and share his knowledge with friends; I thank God for the generosity of my sister-in-law and her husband; I thank God for the chance to visit family and friends who live out of town; I thank God for keeping our dreams alive; I thank God for the hope that is in us; I thank God for the grace to say thank you.
Yes, perhaps it is time to move on. I need to look back at my mission statement, my goals and the steps I have laid out for myself and the dreams that I share with my husband for our family. I guess I have gone fixated with the thought that I needed to start work soon and such a fixation is slowly eating up on me. Indeed the exercise of counting my blessings and bringing out that spirit of gratitude also revealed the darkness that is slowly enveloping. Now it is clearer than ever that the spirit of gratitude is our best weapon to combat negativities and to endure the desert. Then this way, we will not end up like the Israelites who preferred to go back to being slaves in Egypt and never stopped complaining to God, forgetting all that He has done and thereby missing out on the blessings that He has prepared for them.
The past few weeks, I have been reading the part of the Old Testament where the Israelites spent 40 days in the desert. It has been more than 40 days for us since our exodus. But contrary to the Israelites experience of regret and endless complaining, we are not feeling any of those emotions. We are still in the spirit of gratitude because so far, we have been adequately provided and there have been numerous blessings that was brought to us. I guess, during the 40 days in the desert, it is patience that the Lord develops in each of us. With patience, trust and faith are nurtured because we are called to wait and be silent. In this world of constant pace, of busy schedules, being thrown into this spirit of waiting is a big challenge. I think the reason why the Lord instructed Moses to write down His commandments, His laws and all the wondrous deeds He has done for the Israelites is primarily to make the people remember.
So for me, it has become important to write down His blessings and His wondrous deeds as well. Because it will definitely make me remember especially when the heat of the desert begins to scorch, when the sand just seem to go nowhere and there is just an endless road which leads to a hazy horizon. It is important to remain in a spirit of gratitude because I have learned in the past that those are the doors where blessings seep through. So now, I start to count my blessings. I thank God for giving our family this chance to be together, without our busy schedules; I thank God for the beautiful sunrise and sunset that I witness everyday; I thank God for my daughters who are happily singing and playing together; I thank God for the parish priest who has been very kind in deferring the payment of the tuition fees of my daughter while we wait for our employment; I thank God for the thoughtfulness of the same parish priest who came up to us in church just to ask how we were doing; I thank God for the very generous admissions officer who volunteered to give the uniforms of her daughter to my 9-year-old daughter because she will be moving to a higher level with a different set of uniforms; I thank God for the opportunities where my husband is able to exercise his talent in photography and share his knowledge with friends; I thank God for the generosity of my sister-in-law and her husband; I thank God for the chance to visit family and friends who live out of town; I thank God for keeping our dreams alive; I thank God for the hope that is in us; I thank God for the grace to say thank you.
Yes, perhaps it is time to move on. I need to look back at my mission statement, my goals and the steps I have laid out for myself and the dreams that I share with my husband for our family. I guess I have gone fixated with the thought that I needed to start work soon and such a fixation is slowly eating up on me. Indeed the exercise of counting my blessings and bringing out that spirit of gratitude also revealed the darkness that is slowly enveloping. Now it is clearer than ever that the spirit of gratitude is our best weapon to combat negativities and to endure the desert. Then this way, we will not end up like the Israelites who preferred to go back to being slaves in Egypt and never stopped complaining to God, forgetting all that He has done and thereby missing out on the blessings that He has prepared for them.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Technology and Efficiency in the Land of Milk and Honey
I am just so amazed at the efficiency with which things are done here in the US. When my husband and I went to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BMV) to take our written exams, it only took us less than one hour to sit for it, taking turns so someone gets to sit with the kids. When he went to another BMV outlet to get the license plate of our SUV, we were expecting to be tied up for at least half of the day, but then again, it only took us 2 minutes to have the license plates issued and released to us.
When the kids left the Philippines, they were both exposed to TB. My older daughter had primary complex when she was 9 months old and my younger daughter had a positive Mantoux test. We were made to visit the TB Control center here in Cincinnati to follow up on the kids. Repeat chest xrays were done on them and they were both seen by a pediatrician. Their chest x-rays were clear and there was nothing to be done on my older daughter but the younger one had to take INH for 9 months because of their protocol wherein children less than 4 years old with positive Mantoux test will need to undergo chemoprophylaxis of INH alone. We expected to be charged for the chest x-rays but it was done for free. Then we were instructed to return the week after to get the medicine which will be given to her every month free of charge until she completes the chemoprophylaxis. All these happened in less than 2 hours. We were already benefiting from the services even when we still have not contributed to the taxation system.
Then yesterday, I needed to have some documents for my Ohio nursing licensure application notarized. I was informed by my sister-in-law that there is one inside PNC bank. I was quite surprised by the set up so I called just to verify if indeed the branch where we frequently do banking has a notary public. Yes, indeed there was one. When I asked how much they charge for notarization of one document, she asked me if I have an account with the bank. When I answered 'yes', she simply said, 'it's free of charge'. Wooh! Talk about customer service! I have to mention as well that they have a drive-thru service to do banking transactions. You simply put your transaction slips for deposits or withdrawals in a flask and it is siphoned into the vacuum tunnel towards the bank personnel. This is very convenient if you have kids with you that you do not want to unbuckle anymore, or when the weather is so bad that you would not want to step out of your car.
This morning, my husband and my younger daughter had to go to USCIS to get their biometrics taken. The USCIS notice had the same look as the USCIS notices we received while we were still waiting for our immigration papers to be processed back in the Philippines. It also had this notice written that cellphones are not allowed and only those who needed to be present should go. So we recalled how it was in the Philippines wherein we had to line up in the US embassy, undergo strict security clearance and spend at least half of the day to undergo these procedures. I was hesitant at first to enter the building since it was only the two of them who were given the notices. My older daughter and I already have our green cards. But when we entered the building and went through security checks, we were surprised to be greeted warmly by the security personnel and directed to the room where the biometrics were to be done. When we got to the room, again the warm greetings and very casual instructions to fill up the forms, etc. And although my husband was still scheduled for 1pm, they also did the biometrics on him so he does not have to go back in the afternoon anymore. In an hour, we were done.
While we were leaving the building, we were just shaking our heads in utter amazement. Truly impressive! And even though we have no employment security at the moment, everyday we wake up in gratitude that we are experiencing all these blessings given to us by God. It is so true that a lot of people take these things for granted because they have gotten used to it. But for us who have lived, grown and suffered inefficient system of public service back home, we can only utter prayers of thanksgiving that we got the chance to experience this kind of system here. And with sighs of sorrow, we wonder whether people back home would ever have a taste of such system in the near future. We can also just hope and pray.
When the kids left the Philippines, they were both exposed to TB. My older daughter had primary complex when she was 9 months old and my younger daughter had a positive Mantoux test. We were made to visit the TB Control center here in Cincinnati to follow up on the kids. Repeat chest xrays were done on them and they were both seen by a pediatrician. Their chest x-rays were clear and there was nothing to be done on my older daughter but the younger one had to take INH for 9 months because of their protocol wherein children less than 4 years old with positive Mantoux test will need to undergo chemoprophylaxis of INH alone. We expected to be charged for the chest x-rays but it was done for free. Then we were instructed to return the week after to get the medicine which will be given to her every month free of charge until she completes the chemoprophylaxis. All these happened in less than 2 hours. We were already benefiting from the services even when we still have not contributed to the taxation system.
Then yesterday, I needed to have some documents for my Ohio nursing licensure application notarized. I was informed by my sister-in-law that there is one inside PNC bank. I was quite surprised by the set up so I called just to verify if indeed the branch where we frequently do banking has a notary public. Yes, indeed there was one. When I asked how much they charge for notarization of one document, she asked me if I have an account with the bank. When I answered 'yes', she simply said, 'it's free of charge'. Wooh! Talk about customer service! I have to mention as well that they have a drive-thru service to do banking transactions. You simply put your transaction slips for deposits or withdrawals in a flask and it is siphoned into the vacuum tunnel towards the bank personnel. This is very convenient if you have kids with you that you do not want to unbuckle anymore, or when the weather is so bad that you would not want to step out of your car.
This morning, my husband and my younger daughter had to go to USCIS to get their biometrics taken. The USCIS notice had the same look as the USCIS notices we received while we were still waiting for our immigration papers to be processed back in the Philippines. It also had this notice written that cellphones are not allowed and only those who needed to be present should go. So we recalled how it was in the Philippines wherein we had to line up in the US embassy, undergo strict security clearance and spend at least half of the day to undergo these procedures. I was hesitant at first to enter the building since it was only the two of them who were given the notices. My older daughter and I already have our green cards. But when we entered the building and went through security checks, we were surprised to be greeted warmly by the security personnel and directed to the room where the biometrics were to be done. When we got to the room, again the warm greetings and very casual instructions to fill up the forms, etc. And although my husband was still scheduled for 1pm, they also did the biometrics on him so he does not have to go back in the afternoon anymore. In an hour, we were done.
While we were leaving the building, we were just shaking our heads in utter amazement. Truly impressive! And even though we have no employment security at the moment, everyday we wake up in gratitude that we are experiencing all these blessings given to us by God. It is so true that a lot of people take these things for granted because they have gotten used to it. But for us who have lived, grown and suffered inefficient system of public service back home, we can only utter prayers of thanksgiving that we got the chance to experience this kind of system here. And with sighs of sorrow, we wonder whether people back home would ever have a taste of such system in the near future. We can also just hope and pray.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
A Day in the Zoo
Going to the Public Library has its advantages. One of which is you get to collect all those free magazines and postcards that have announcements of upcoming events in the city. Last week I was able to get a postcard which announced that Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden will hold an arts and crafts festival and the entrance fee is only $1.00 for July 15.
So this morning, we woke up early in order to get to the zoo ahead of the crowd. We arrived at 9:30 a.m. and found the car park still more than half vacant. At the entrance gate, we paid for the tickets and we just realized that the regular entrance fee for adults was $13 and for the children, it's $9. So for our family of 4, we would be spending $50 per visit. But since today was a special day, we only paid $1 each and an additional $6.50 for the parking fee. Wow! And we were also handed a free film camera and map for the zoo.
It was a cloudy day so we did not have to worry too much about sunburn. For a small zoo, it was amazingly diverse. It even had an insect house, cat house, butterfly garden and animals like white polar bears, red pandas, gorillas, orangutans, manatees and white lions. The insect house was a house of poison because it contained tarantulas, black widow spiders and huge black scorpions. The kids enjoyed the experience especially when they got to participate in the activities at the crafts center. There were many materials for projects like fans, finger puppets, necklaces, etc. They even got to bring home some of these materials for home projects.
I got a flyer for the Cincinnati Zoo membership. It has some interesting packages of unlimited entrance year-round. I heard that the Winter Light Fest is very nice and there are also special shows for Halloween and for every season. So we are still thinking if we would get this membership card for the family. Perhaps after a year... because who knows, there might also be many of these $1 thing that they run in between. That would still be cheaper. Ha, ha, ha. Besides, the animals in the zoo will remain mostly the same throughout the season. In winter, I heard, they are not visible because they also hibernate. Maybe that's the reason why the zoo had to produce a special winter show to continue to generate income. Anyway, there are still many other free stuff going on in the Cincinnati. I will have to check the museums and the other parks. Then we can maximize the fun and minimize the expenses. :)
So this morning, we woke up early in order to get to the zoo ahead of the crowd. We arrived at 9:30 a.m. and found the car park still more than half vacant. At the entrance gate, we paid for the tickets and we just realized that the regular entrance fee for adults was $13 and for the children, it's $9. So for our family of 4, we would be spending $50 per visit. But since today was a special day, we only paid $1 each and an additional $6.50 for the parking fee. Wow! And we were also handed a free film camera and map for the zoo.
It was a cloudy day so we did not have to worry too much about sunburn. For a small zoo, it was amazingly diverse. It even had an insect house, cat house, butterfly garden and animals like white polar bears, red pandas, gorillas, orangutans, manatees and white lions. The insect house was a house of poison because it contained tarantulas, black widow spiders and huge black scorpions. The kids enjoyed the experience especially when they got to participate in the activities at the crafts center. There were many materials for projects like fans, finger puppets, necklaces, etc. They even got to bring home some of these materials for home projects.
I got a flyer for the Cincinnati Zoo membership. It has some interesting packages of unlimited entrance year-round. I heard that the Winter Light Fest is very nice and there are also special shows for Halloween and for every season. So we are still thinking if we would get this membership card for the family. Perhaps after a year... because who knows, there might also be many of these $1 thing that they run in between. That would still be cheaper. Ha, ha, ha. Besides, the animals in the zoo will remain mostly the same throughout the season. In winter, I heard, they are not visible because they also hibernate. Maybe that's the reason why the zoo had to produce a special winter show to continue to generate income. Anyway, there are still many other free stuff going on in the Cincinnati. I will have to check the museums and the other parks. Then we can maximize the fun and minimize the expenses. :)
Monday, July 13, 2009
My Favorite Bread
There are things that you just miss when you are in a foreign land.... mostly Filipino delicacies. The adobo just does not taste nearly as good when you use the white vinegar and soy sauce that you find in American groceries. Finding Datu Puti sukang puti and soy sauce was a heady experience, therefore, when I caught sight of this package in an Asian grocery store.
Sinigang is another dish that my family loves so much but I just could not find "gabi" and "kangkong" even in Asian grocery stores. I am still experimenting with various other substitute but so far, none that satisfies my taste buds.
Then my high school classmate sent me this pan de sal recipe which I was just as eager to try. My first experiment was a comedy. Just as when my yeast mixture was already bubbly and just ready to be mixed into the dry ingredients, I suddenly realized that I ran out of flour. In a desperate move to save my yeast mixture, I got hold of a pancake mix and thought, "this is also flour anyway...". Well, it was not a very accurate thought. My pan de sal ended like a McDonald's biscuit. It was passable in taste and the aroma was delightful but the texture was far from the pan de sal that I have been dreaming of.
So this time, I googled other pan de sal recipes, made some variations in the original recipe that my classmate made to suit my taste and came up with this recipe. Of course, I also made sure I had enough supply of flour for my ingredients.
PAN DE SAL
Mix 1 tablespoon of active dry yeast with 1 1/4 cups of warm water (100-110F). Add 1/2 cup of white sugar and allow to bubble for 10 minutes to activate the yeast.
Meanwhile, mix 1/2 cup white sugar, 1/4 cup vegetable oil, 1 teaspoon salt , 1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder and 1 cup flour in a separate bowl. Add the yeast mixture (once activated) to the bowl and put 3 cups of all-purpose flour (1/2 cup at a time) until the dough is formed and no longer sticks to the sides of the bowl. Transfer the dough into a flat, clean surface and start to knead. Powder the surface and the dough with flour every now and then and knead for 10 minutes.
Oil a clean bowl and transfer the dough into the bowl making sure that the dough is coated with oil. Cover the dough with plastic cling wrap and allow the dough to rise for 2 hours. Keep the bowl of dough in a warm place for better results. I put mine in the garage, ha, ha, ha, since the house is cool because of the air conditioning and the oven is not nearly warm enough for the dough to rise. But I have to think of other place in the winter. Perhaps, it will be beside the fireplace.
Anyway, once doubled in size, punch the dough in the middle several times until it folds up into the center. Form the dough into small balls of desired size and coat with bread crumbs. Other recipes would recommend rolling the dough into 2 inch width rolls and cutting it to form square buns. Whichever way you prefer does not really matter. Just make sure you don't forget to coat with the bread crumbs because that's what makes the pan de sal different from a dinner roll.
Arrange in baking pan and allow to rise for 20-40 minutes in a warm place. Heat the oven to 350F and transfer the baking pan inside the oven once the dough has risen. Bake for 30 minutes or until golden brown.
Enjoy the aroma of freshly baked pan de sal in your house. You may freeze remaining cooled, uneaten buns. This can be toasted and enjoy the same experience of eating freshly-baked pan de sal over and over again.
Sinigang is another dish that my family loves so much but I just could not find "gabi" and "kangkong" even in Asian grocery stores. I am still experimenting with various other substitute but so far, none that satisfies my taste buds.
Then my high school classmate sent me this pan de sal recipe which I was just as eager to try. My first experiment was a comedy. Just as when my yeast mixture was already bubbly and just ready to be mixed into the dry ingredients, I suddenly realized that I ran out of flour. In a desperate move to save my yeast mixture, I got hold of a pancake mix and thought, "this is also flour anyway...". Well, it was not a very accurate thought. My pan de sal ended like a McDonald's biscuit. It was passable in taste and the aroma was delightful but the texture was far from the pan de sal that I have been dreaming of.
So this time, I googled other pan de sal recipes, made some variations in the original recipe that my classmate made to suit my taste and came up with this recipe. Of course, I also made sure I had enough supply of flour for my ingredients.
PAN DE SAL
Mix 1 tablespoon of active dry yeast with 1 1/4 cups of warm water (100-110F). Add 1/2 cup of white sugar and allow to bubble for 10 minutes to activate the yeast.
Meanwhile, mix 1/2 cup white sugar, 1/4 cup vegetable oil, 1 teaspoon salt , 1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder and 1 cup flour in a separate bowl. Add the yeast mixture (once activated) to the bowl and put 3 cups of all-purpose flour (1/2 cup at a time) until the dough is formed and no longer sticks to the sides of the bowl. Transfer the dough into a flat, clean surface and start to knead. Powder the surface and the dough with flour every now and then and knead for 10 minutes.
Oil a clean bowl and transfer the dough into the bowl making sure that the dough is coated with oil. Cover the dough with plastic cling wrap and allow the dough to rise for 2 hours. Keep the bowl of dough in a warm place for better results. I put mine in the garage, ha, ha, ha, since the house is cool because of the air conditioning and the oven is not nearly warm enough for the dough to rise. But I have to think of other place in the winter. Perhaps, it will be beside the fireplace.
Anyway, once doubled in size, punch the dough in the middle several times until it folds up into the center. Form the dough into small balls of desired size and coat with bread crumbs. Other recipes would recommend rolling the dough into 2 inch width rolls and cutting it to form square buns. Whichever way you prefer does not really matter. Just make sure you don't forget to coat with the bread crumbs because that's what makes the pan de sal different from a dinner roll.
Arrange in baking pan and allow to rise for 20-40 minutes in a warm place. Heat the oven to 350F and transfer the baking pan inside the oven once the dough has risen. Bake for 30 minutes or until golden brown.
Enjoy the aroma of freshly baked pan de sal in your house. You may freeze remaining cooled, uneaten buns. This can be toasted and enjoy the same experience of eating freshly-baked pan de sal over and over again.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Initial Impressions of a Migrant
I always wondered why some immigrants choose to continue living here in America despite the hardships and changes in lifestyle. We always claim that life in the Philippines is so much better... with the maids, the presence of friends and families, the freedom to go out in "gimmicks", etc.
But now, I begin to appreciate what others saw in this land. Even though there are many household chores to do, there are also many ways out there to make ones life easy. You can do the laundry and dry your clothes while you watch TV. You can do the dishwashing while you check your emails and tinker with the computer. The kids are beginning to be more independent compared to the lazy kids I have in the Philippines who constantly call out to their "yaya" for something as simple as a glass of water... and my older daughter's reason is... "because now there's a filter on the faucet"... which makes it easier for her to get a glass of water. Even mopping the floor is swift... with the Swiffer.
There is also so much to do for free. The Public Library is just everywhere. You can reserve books online and pick it up when prompted. There are DVDs, CDs and all sorts of multimedia that you can borrow. You can access your account online and even the kids have their own accounts and play educational games online. There are shows in museums and zoos. There are even free movies.
Cooking is also made easy. There are lots of ready-to-cook items in the grocery. Frozen, chopped vegetables are available if you have limited time to prepare food. You can leave your house while your crockpot cooks dinner and come home with a hot meal ready to be served. There are so many choices for meat products.
Home decoration is do-it-yourself stuff as well. We visited Home Depot yesterday and the choices are simply endless. There are even timbers and lumbers for sale that are already pre-cut and pre-treated. Your creativity and skill are the only limits to what you can do with your home.
Yesterday, my husband and I took the driver's license written exam. It is just as impressive. We just got the booklet from the Bureau of Motors and Vehicles and studied it for one week. It contained all the rules you need to know in order to drive safely here in Ohio. You can just appreciate why you rarely see delinquent drivers on the road who would swerve or obstruct the way like you experience in Manila. Because all the drivers need to pass the written exam. It is computerized so there is no way you can cheat. You immediately see your results. Even when you make mistakes, the computer shows you the correct answer. From the start, drivers are already filtered. If you do not know the rules, stay off the road. After the written exam, there is still the practical exam which will test your driving skills. No bribery, no pulling strings under the table, no underhanded tactics.
Most of my friends here would tell me that you will grow closer as a family because you have only each other to depend on. So if you do not like your family or you do not like your spouse, living in the US can be suffocating for you because you will see them day in and day out. If you are used to drinking sprees and night-outs with friends, stay in Manila. This place is not for you, unless you're single. You can opt to live in New York City and maintain that lifestyle.
Of course, it's still too soon to tell. We have not yet gone to the routine of going to work, sending the kids to school, coming home to the family and household chores, etc. We are just starting to settle down. But so far, no regrets. And what I liked most in this place even with the absence of maids is also the absence of pests. No rats, ants, cockroaches and mosquitoes. There are occasional flies and they can be quite large but being large, they can be easily smashed.
I guess I am just the type of person who loves space, cleanliness , order and silence. Being here in this suburban place is just a complete blessing. And it is with complete gratitude to God for this opportunity that I opened my mail and took out a card which indicated "Permanent Resident" in white font against a background of green.... I just received my Green Card! :)
But now, I begin to appreciate what others saw in this land. Even though there are many household chores to do, there are also many ways out there to make ones life easy. You can do the laundry and dry your clothes while you watch TV. You can do the dishwashing while you check your emails and tinker with the computer. The kids are beginning to be more independent compared to the lazy kids I have in the Philippines who constantly call out to their "yaya" for something as simple as a glass of water... and my older daughter's reason is... "because now there's a filter on the faucet"... which makes it easier for her to get a glass of water. Even mopping the floor is swift... with the Swiffer.
There is also so much to do for free. The Public Library is just everywhere. You can reserve books online and pick it up when prompted. There are DVDs, CDs and all sorts of multimedia that you can borrow. You can access your account online and even the kids have their own accounts and play educational games online. There are shows in museums and zoos. There are even free movies.
Cooking is also made easy. There are lots of ready-to-cook items in the grocery. Frozen, chopped vegetables are available if you have limited time to prepare food. You can leave your house while your crockpot cooks dinner and come home with a hot meal ready to be served. There are so many choices for meat products.
Home decoration is do-it-yourself stuff as well. We visited Home Depot yesterday and the choices are simply endless. There are even timbers and lumbers for sale that are already pre-cut and pre-treated. Your creativity and skill are the only limits to what you can do with your home.
Yesterday, my husband and I took the driver's license written exam. It is just as impressive. We just got the booklet from the Bureau of Motors and Vehicles and studied it for one week. It contained all the rules you need to know in order to drive safely here in Ohio. You can just appreciate why you rarely see delinquent drivers on the road who would swerve or obstruct the way like you experience in Manila. Because all the drivers need to pass the written exam. It is computerized so there is no way you can cheat. You immediately see your results. Even when you make mistakes, the computer shows you the correct answer. From the start, drivers are already filtered. If you do not know the rules, stay off the road. After the written exam, there is still the practical exam which will test your driving skills. No bribery, no pulling strings under the table, no underhanded tactics.
Most of my friends here would tell me that you will grow closer as a family because you have only each other to depend on. So if you do not like your family or you do not like your spouse, living in the US can be suffocating for you because you will see them day in and day out. If you are used to drinking sprees and night-outs with friends, stay in Manila. This place is not for you, unless you're single. You can opt to live in New York City and maintain that lifestyle.
Of course, it's still too soon to tell. We have not yet gone to the routine of going to work, sending the kids to school, coming home to the family and household chores, etc. We are just starting to settle down. But so far, no regrets. And what I liked most in this place even with the absence of maids is also the absence of pests. No rats, ants, cockroaches and mosquitoes. There are occasional flies and they can be quite large but being large, they can be easily smashed.
I guess I am just the type of person who loves space, cleanliness , order and silence. Being here in this suburban place is just a complete blessing. And it is with complete gratitude to God for this opportunity that I opened my mail and took out a card which indicated "Permanent Resident" in white font against a background of green.... I just received my Green Card! :)
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Grace in Times of Despair
In 2005, when we started processing our immigrant visa, we had our doubts about it. I was pregnant with our second child and I could not imagine living in the US, working hours and still take care of a newborn when I get home from work. So we prayed hard that God delays the processing until the kids are old enough and needed low "maintenance". Of course, I forgot about that prayer. So when the processing of the petition got delayed for years we thought God had other plans for us and started to think that migrating here is no longer in the picture. Then when we got our call to go to the embassy for an interview early this year, we were totally caught off guard. It's just later on in the process of our discernment that we recalled that few years ago, we made this prayer and God heard it. And although we were quick to forget about it, He never forgets His promises. And what He says He will do, He is faithful in delivering.
Now, my younger daughter is turning four on August and my older daughter is nine. I can actually entrust the latter with the former. My older daughter gives her little sister a bath while I clean the kitchen. My husband does the laundry and the dishes. Sometimes my younger daughter sets the table and folds her own clothes. Indeed they are both more manageable as compared to last year, when we were here for a vacation. I actually lost 5 pounds just running after my toddler in that 6 weeks in 2008 when most people would gain weight after vacationing in the US.
But there is one thing which can still make me lose my wits... it's when my younger daughter transforms to this desperate, crying little girl who claims she wants something but does not know what she wants. It's her form of tantrum which most of the time succeeds in pushing me to the wall that I also end up throwing a tantrum. I've seen my husband give up on her as well when she gets into this mood. Fortunately, there was always one of us who seem to be in control when my little girl succeeds in getting the other adult turn into a monster mom/dad.
Just last week, while I was trying to play with her in the basement, she throws into this tantrum again. I just totally lost it and left her with her dad and started to work in the kitchen to prepare for dinner. Unable to stop her from crying incessantly and getting impatient himself, my husband scolded her. She comes up to me still crying. There was no way I could stop her and my attention was caught between placating her and cooking dinner. In despair, I turned off the stove, sat on the floor and covered my ears and prayed "Lord, have mercy!". She continued to cry in front of my folded figure. Then I heard my husband went up and saw the two of us in that pathetic form. He took my daughter and embraced her. She was immediately comforted. Then he handed her to me and made me embrace her. That made her stop crying altogether. He said, "she just needed a hug from you." Then I got hold of a small chair and made her seat near the refrigerator and I gave her water. She silently drank her water while I continued to cook dinner. Nobody would guess that my thoughts were in disarray thinking about what just happened. It's in these events that I start to question, "Can I really handle this move?". I know our strengths and I am also aware of our weaknesses as a couple. But sometimes, there are areas that are grey. And this one was it.... handling my daughter's tantrums. This is one thing that we hope to put under control because if we both lose control, who knows what regrettable thing we are capable of.
Later that night, as I was cleaning the kitchen, my husband came up to me and said, "Do you also need a hug?" and he hugged me before I could say yes. That managed to give me immense comfort and restore my faith. During my moments of doubt, God knows perfectly how to reassure me. But I knew that someday, my daughter may throw a tantrum again and he might not be around to help.
So, I made this one petition everyday in my rosary intentions amongst all our other intentions (and God knows there are just mountains of those :). What is most unusual though is that I am able to set aside time to read the Bible and pray the rosary despite the fact that we have no maids here in the US. I think that is one miracle that I can attribute to the visit to the Lourdes' grotto last May. Because these silent moments with God are just immense sources of blessings and grace. Discernment of His will becomes easier and His guidance is much clearer.
Then just today, He showed me how to take control of the uncontrollable.
Once again, my daughter comes up to me crying in that desperate manner again and is beyond reason and logic. Once more, I was in the kitchen busy with chores. My voice started to rise and I scolded her. That made her cry even harder. Then I remembered that time when she started to cry while we were in Rome, during the papal audience... and my daughters were both under the shade that I made for us (my arms were stretched out and my jacket was covering the three of us from the heat of the sun). In order for her to stop, I prayed out aloud in tongues. That made the two of them look at me in shock. They were hearing me speak in something which sounded like Italian. I prayed for almost one minute and that managed to stop my younger daughter from crying. I can still recall seeing my older daughter look at me with awe and saying, "You were speaking in a strange language, mommy. How did you learn that?".
I thought, perhaps I can make good use of that gift and start praying in tongues once again. But this time, I did not pray out aloud. I simply prayed in tongues in the recesses of my mind while my little girl cried in the background. She did not stop crying but I was totally amazed at what happened. I acutely felt the transformation in my feelings in a very graduated manner... from that of despair/irritation/anger to peace and serenity. It was like turning the volume of rock music from loud to soft and then to mute. The experience was just so remarkable. Then I looked at Marie with love and affection and spoke to her. I do not remember what I told her but she simply obeyed me and started to calm down. Then I instructed her to go and play with her sister and she simply obeyed!
God has shown me His power and the power that is just within me, which I have not put to use. I just needed to be reminded that the power is always available and free. There is nothing in this life that is beyond His control. And by virtue of His power and my being His child, this power is also given to me as a gift. And not just to me... it is just as available to everyone else. I recalled about mothers who just totally lost their minds and have thrown themselves into despair. If only they have known of this power and put it into good use. It is pure grace and a gift that He should reveal this to me. And I pray that I may exercise this power especially now that I need it the most.
Now, my younger daughter is turning four on August and my older daughter is nine. I can actually entrust the latter with the former. My older daughter gives her little sister a bath while I clean the kitchen. My husband does the laundry and the dishes. Sometimes my younger daughter sets the table and folds her own clothes. Indeed they are both more manageable as compared to last year, when we were here for a vacation. I actually lost 5 pounds just running after my toddler in that 6 weeks in 2008 when most people would gain weight after vacationing in the US.
But there is one thing which can still make me lose my wits... it's when my younger daughter transforms to this desperate, crying little girl who claims she wants something but does not know what she wants. It's her form of tantrum which most of the time succeeds in pushing me to the wall that I also end up throwing a tantrum. I've seen my husband give up on her as well when she gets into this mood. Fortunately, there was always one of us who seem to be in control when my little girl succeeds in getting the other adult turn into a monster mom/dad.
Just last week, while I was trying to play with her in the basement, she throws into this tantrum again. I just totally lost it and left her with her dad and started to work in the kitchen to prepare for dinner. Unable to stop her from crying incessantly and getting impatient himself, my husband scolded her. She comes up to me still crying. There was no way I could stop her and my attention was caught between placating her and cooking dinner. In despair, I turned off the stove, sat on the floor and covered my ears and prayed "Lord, have mercy!". She continued to cry in front of my folded figure. Then I heard my husband went up and saw the two of us in that pathetic form. He took my daughter and embraced her. She was immediately comforted. Then he handed her to me and made me embrace her. That made her stop crying altogether. He said, "she just needed a hug from you." Then I got hold of a small chair and made her seat near the refrigerator and I gave her water. She silently drank her water while I continued to cook dinner. Nobody would guess that my thoughts were in disarray thinking about what just happened. It's in these events that I start to question, "Can I really handle this move?". I know our strengths and I am also aware of our weaknesses as a couple. But sometimes, there are areas that are grey. And this one was it.... handling my daughter's tantrums. This is one thing that we hope to put under control because if we both lose control, who knows what regrettable thing we are capable of.
Later that night, as I was cleaning the kitchen, my husband came up to me and said, "Do you also need a hug?" and he hugged me before I could say yes. That managed to give me immense comfort and restore my faith. During my moments of doubt, God knows perfectly how to reassure me. But I knew that someday, my daughter may throw a tantrum again and he might not be around to help.
So, I made this one petition everyday in my rosary intentions amongst all our other intentions (and God knows there are just mountains of those :). What is most unusual though is that I am able to set aside time to read the Bible and pray the rosary despite the fact that we have no maids here in the US. I think that is one miracle that I can attribute to the visit to the Lourdes' grotto last May. Because these silent moments with God are just immense sources of blessings and grace. Discernment of His will becomes easier and His guidance is much clearer.
Then just today, He showed me how to take control of the uncontrollable.
Once again, my daughter comes up to me crying in that desperate manner again and is beyond reason and logic. Once more, I was in the kitchen busy with chores. My voice started to rise and I scolded her. That made her cry even harder. Then I remembered that time when she started to cry while we were in Rome, during the papal audience... and my daughters were both under the shade that I made for us (my arms were stretched out and my jacket was covering the three of us from the heat of the sun). In order for her to stop, I prayed out aloud in tongues. That made the two of them look at me in shock. They were hearing me speak in something which sounded like Italian. I prayed for almost one minute and that managed to stop my younger daughter from crying. I can still recall seeing my older daughter look at me with awe and saying, "You were speaking in a strange language, mommy. How did you learn that?".
I thought, perhaps I can make good use of that gift and start praying in tongues once again. But this time, I did not pray out aloud. I simply prayed in tongues in the recesses of my mind while my little girl cried in the background. She did not stop crying but I was totally amazed at what happened. I acutely felt the transformation in my feelings in a very graduated manner... from that of despair/irritation/anger to peace and serenity. It was like turning the volume of rock music from loud to soft and then to mute. The experience was just so remarkable. Then I looked at Marie with love and affection and spoke to her. I do not remember what I told her but she simply obeyed me and started to calm down. Then I instructed her to go and play with her sister and she simply obeyed!
God has shown me His power and the power that is just within me, which I have not put to use. I just needed to be reminded that the power is always available and free. There is nothing in this life that is beyond His control. And by virtue of His power and my being His child, this power is also given to me as a gift. And not just to me... it is just as available to everyone else. I recalled about mothers who just totally lost their minds and have thrown themselves into despair. If only they have known of this power and put it into good use. It is pure grace and a gift that He should reveal this to me. And I pray that I may exercise this power especially now that I need it the most.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Techonology for Migrants
It is so easy to get in touch with loved ones across the globe with the advances in technology. Today is my husband's birthday and we celebrated it's eve with much fireworks because of the 4th of July event. :) But what made the event memorable as well is the presence of skype.
At 7:00am we were communicating with family in Manila through skype. As I was preparing breakfast and baking the birthday cake, he went to the kitchen carrying his laptop with the videocam and mic on. I saw our family in West Avenue preparing for dinner and celebrating his birthday as well. While they were eating, we could see them and they could also see us eating on the dining table.
The kids even made up a funny joke... the "pass the Nutella" gig. We had a Nutella and they had a Nutella with them. My niece said, "please pass the Nutella" and we pretended to hand the Nutella to them and they pretended to receive it. It looked surreal. :)
And when we were decorating the cake already, they were looking at us. And when it finally got done and I placed the queer birthday candle which did not announce the age but simply a note which says... "Over the hill, too old to count!" everyone started singing happy birthday. It was just as though we were all in one place. When my husband blew the candle, they were also taking pictures of the monitor from across the globe. We also posed as a family and they took our picture, ha, ha, ha. Technology is such a bliss.
At 7:00am we were communicating with family in Manila through skype. As I was preparing breakfast and baking the birthday cake, he went to the kitchen carrying his laptop with the videocam and mic on. I saw our family in West Avenue preparing for dinner and celebrating his birthday as well. While they were eating, we could see them and they could also see us eating on the dining table.
The kids even made up a funny joke... the "pass the Nutella" gig. We had a Nutella and they had a Nutella with them. My niece said, "please pass the Nutella" and we pretended to hand the Nutella to them and they pretended to receive it. It looked surreal. :)
And when we were decorating the cake already, they were looking at us. And when it finally got done and I placed the queer birthday candle which did not announce the age but simply a note which says... "Over the hill, too old to count!" everyone started singing happy birthday. It was just as though we were all in one place. When my husband blew the candle, they were also taking pictures of the monitor from across the globe. We also posed as a family and they took our picture, ha, ha, ha. Technology is such a bliss.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Cooking in America
One of the challenges in America is preparing food for the family. I had to do an experiment of cooking a huge bulk that would last for a week or more. But eventually I found this as not so good an idea. Until now, I still have to find a way to finish that "monggo" in the refrigerator. The adobo has already graduated in our tummies after 2 weeks of heating and re-heating. I will never do that again. Perhaps cooking for a volume that can last for a couple of days is fine, but for a week or more... it just becomes punishment for the diners.
But it was good practice to always cook with a good amount of left-overs because at least, there is always food that can be easily heated.
Another challenge is to keep the house from smelling like spices. It was one scent I noted when I visited my sister's house in California a couple of years ago. I did not notice this in my sister-in-law's house. It was only now that I realized that my sister-in-law did not cook that much and so kept her house from getting that peculiar smell. I noticed this smell after a week of cooking. It actually came from the garlic, onions, soy sauce, pepper and vinegar that are constantly used in Filipino dishes. That made me buy vanilla scented candles and kept it lit inside the house.
Anyway, just a few days ago, my sister-in-law brought home some left-over lechon from Texas. A Filipino friend of hers celebrated her birthday with Filipino dishes and a huge lechon and gave most of the left-overs to her visitors. Inorder to avoid having the house smelling of vinegar and spices, I had to cook the lechon paksiw while my sister-in-law was away on vacation in San Francisco. Of course, this is my first time to cook lechon paksiw and so I had to google the recipe. I found a few interesting ones and adapted 2 recipes to make my own version of lechon paksiw. Here it goes:
2 kg lechon chopped in bite-sized pieces (yes, that was the volume of the left-over from Texas)
2 cups Mang Tomas sauce (thank God there were still 3 bottles left in her pantry)
2 cups white vinegar (courtesy of that Asian store, Cam, which sold Datu Puti soy sauce and
vinegar in a neat bundle. I should have taken 2 packs)
1 cup brown sugar
2 tbsp salt
2 tbsp peppercorn
8 cloves garlic crushed
1/2 cup dried oregano (it was originally for 1 cup and I felt it may turn out to be very
overpowering. With 1/2 cup, it was still overpowering, so I suggest to
make this 1/4 cup)
2 cups water
1 cup soy sauce
5 pcs of bay leaves
Just put everything together in a huge pot and bring to a boil. Simmer for one hour or until the skin softens and some of the meat shreds off easily. Enjoy with steaming rice.
But it was good practice to always cook with a good amount of left-overs because at least, there is always food that can be easily heated.
Another challenge is to keep the house from smelling like spices. It was one scent I noted when I visited my sister's house in California a couple of years ago. I did not notice this in my sister-in-law's house. It was only now that I realized that my sister-in-law did not cook that much and so kept her house from getting that peculiar smell. I noticed this smell after a week of cooking. It actually came from the garlic, onions, soy sauce, pepper and vinegar that are constantly used in Filipino dishes. That made me buy vanilla scented candles and kept it lit inside the house.
Anyway, just a few days ago, my sister-in-law brought home some left-over lechon from Texas. A Filipino friend of hers celebrated her birthday with Filipino dishes and a huge lechon and gave most of the left-overs to her visitors. Inorder to avoid having the house smelling of vinegar and spices, I had to cook the lechon paksiw while my sister-in-law was away on vacation in San Francisco. Of course, this is my first time to cook lechon paksiw and so I had to google the recipe. I found a few interesting ones and adapted 2 recipes to make my own version of lechon paksiw. Here it goes:
2 kg lechon chopped in bite-sized pieces (yes, that was the volume of the left-over from Texas)
2 cups Mang Tomas sauce (thank God there were still 3 bottles left in her pantry)
2 cups white vinegar (courtesy of that Asian store, Cam, which sold Datu Puti soy sauce and
vinegar in a neat bundle. I should have taken 2 packs)
1 cup brown sugar
2 tbsp salt
2 tbsp peppercorn
8 cloves garlic crushed
1/2 cup dried oregano (it was originally for 1 cup and I felt it may turn out to be very
overpowering. With 1/2 cup, it was still overpowering, so I suggest to
make this 1/4 cup)
2 cups water
1 cup soy sauce
5 pcs of bay leaves
Just put everything together in a huge pot and bring to a boil. Simmer for one hour or until the skin softens and some of the meat shreds off easily. Enjoy with steaming rice.
The First Two Weeks
Landing in the airport of Chicago as our port of entry was a bad thing because the line at the immigrations was so long and we only had 1.5 hours in between transfers. Fortunately, despite the long queque, we did not encounter any issues with the immigration. But the real issue was the mountain of checked-in luggages that we had. For the first time in America, we hired a porter. We gave him $20. And he was kind enough to go back to us when we got done with the immigration and helped us to transfer to the counter for our local flight. Expectedly, we were left by the plane and we were told that the next available flight was 6:30am of the next day. That was really bad news because we did not want to spend a night in a hotel in Chicago. Since there were 4 of us, we were informed that it is impossible to get through the last day's flight if we waitlisted. So while my husband was calling my sister-in-law, we were praying and I just felt resigned to whatever God brings to our hands. Surprisingly, while he was still on the phone, the lady at the counter approached us and informed us that 5 seats were just cancelled and were free for us to take. God is so good. We added another $5.00 to the porter who patiently waited and now loaded the luggages to the carousel.
We arrived in Cincinnati, OH at 12midnight. It was a very long trip but we were just happy to see my sister-in-law and her friend. We were finally home.
The next day, we immediately went to the nearest Social Security office in our area to check if they already got our application in their system. We were informed that it will take 10 days for the papers to get through immigration. So we were instructed to go back after 10 days.
The second day, my sister-in-law accompanied us to the bank to open our own bank account. With that, we were able to transfer the funds that we sent to her account to our own bank account.
Next in line was a meeting with the realtor. We were hesitant at first to do this because we still did not have a job but eventually it paid off because we were given a pile of documents which were meant to aid new residents in moving to Cincinnati. It had everything we needed to get acquainted with Cincinnati in the envelope: a map of the city, listings of schools, listings of tourist spots, and things to know and do, numerous tips about moving, etc.
The next few days were spent in research: searching for used car, searching for the right area where to buy property, searching for school districts and private schools, searching for groceries where the cost is lowest for meat, produce, dry goods, etc. and searching for other possible job options.
The first major purchase was a second-hand 2004 Mitsubishi Endeavor. After visiting shops selling certified cars, we were surprised to find this fresh looking SUV which looked brand new and yet was priced at just $9,995. Indeed it was a rare find and one which we could not afford to let go of. So at that particular instant, we offered to buy it in cash because we could not purchase in credit without our social security numbers and credit ratings. We gave a downpayment of $200 and the papers were processed. It was as simple as that. It was June 20, 2009, Saturday. The first thing we did on June 21, Monday was to have a cashier's check drafted for the car shop.
On June 22, Wednesday, we were aboard our "new" car and we returned our rented car which was a total rip off at $500+. But it has served to get us around town to do our grocery and stuff. But now, we had something that we really owned.
Next thing we did was schedule for school tours in between property tours with the realtor. We were initially thinking of putting the two girls in a public school because there were lots of school districts in Cincinnati and the vicinity which had excellent ratings from the Department of Education. However, upon further research, and with external affirmations, we decided to explore the religious schools in the city. By looking at the Department of Education website again, we got to narrow down our search to schools with Blue Ribbon recognitions. From there, we further focused on the schools that were near the place of my sister-in-law. It was fortunate that we were working with the realtor also who cited the possible districts that we can purchase the property that we are looking for. This coincided with the search of school for the girls. After 2 weeks of touring the schools, we decided on one school because it had all the pluses that we wanted in the other schools that we saw. It had the hot lunch program, the buddy system, the type of discipline enforced that we liked, the endorsement by a local resident, the academic excellence, the absence of diversity issue, the hi-tech mode of instructions, the accelerated program, the high percentage of scholarship obtained for private high schools, the wide corridors and high passing rate.
On July 2, 2009, exactly a week after we applied for our Social Security numbers (18 days from arriving in US), we finally got it!
On July 3, celebrating independence day with Filipino friends and their non-Filipino husbands in Mason, we further got information on what to do next in order to obtain a good credit rating, got further affirmation regarding our choice of school, and more affirmation about how the Lord's hands has been moving in our lives in perfect time. Even without the assurance and security of a job for us, we are at peace and confident that God is dictating the pace of all the things that have been happening to us. In His perfect time... we know everything will just fall in place.
We arrived in Cincinnati, OH at 12midnight. It was a very long trip but we were just happy to see my sister-in-law and her friend. We were finally home.
The next day, we immediately went to the nearest Social Security office in our area to check if they already got our application in their system. We were informed that it will take 10 days for the papers to get through immigration. So we were instructed to go back after 10 days.
The second day, my sister-in-law accompanied us to the bank to open our own bank account. With that, we were able to transfer the funds that we sent to her account to our own bank account.
Next in line was a meeting with the realtor. We were hesitant at first to do this because we still did not have a job but eventually it paid off because we were given a pile of documents which were meant to aid new residents in moving to Cincinnati. It had everything we needed to get acquainted with Cincinnati in the envelope: a map of the city, listings of schools, listings of tourist spots, and things to know and do, numerous tips about moving, etc.
The next few days were spent in research: searching for used car, searching for the right area where to buy property, searching for school districts and private schools, searching for groceries where the cost is lowest for meat, produce, dry goods, etc. and searching for other possible job options.
The first major purchase was a second-hand 2004 Mitsubishi Endeavor. After visiting shops selling certified cars, we were surprised to find this fresh looking SUV which looked brand new and yet was priced at just $9,995. Indeed it was a rare find and one which we could not afford to let go of. So at that particular instant, we offered to buy it in cash because we could not purchase in credit without our social security numbers and credit ratings. We gave a downpayment of $200 and the papers were processed. It was as simple as that. It was June 20, 2009, Saturday. The first thing we did on June 21, Monday was to have a cashier's check drafted for the car shop.
On June 22, Wednesday, we were aboard our "new" car and we returned our rented car which was a total rip off at $500+. But it has served to get us around town to do our grocery and stuff. But now, we had something that we really owned.
Next thing we did was schedule for school tours in between property tours with the realtor. We were initially thinking of putting the two girls in a public school because there were lots of school districts in Cincinnati and the vicinity which had excellent ratings from the Department of Education. However, upon further research, and with external affirmations, we decided to explore the religious schools in the city. By looking at the Department of Education website again, we got to narrow down our search to schools with Blue Ribbon recognitions. From there, we further focused on the schools that were near the place of my sister-in-law. It was fortunate that we were working with the realtor also who cited the possible districts that we can purchase the property that we are looking for. This coincided with the search of school for the girls. After 2 weeks of touring the schools, we decided on one school because it had all the pluses that we wanted in the other schools that we saw. It had the hot lunch program, the buddy system, the type of discipline enforced that we liked, the endorsement by a local resident, the academic excellence, the absence of diversity issue, the hi-tech mode of instructions, the accelerated program, the high percentage of scholarship obtained for private high schools, the wide corridors and high passing rate.
On July 2, 2009, exactly a week after we applied for our Social Security numbers (18 days from arriving in US), we finally got it!
On July 3, celebrating independence day with Filipino friends and their non-Filipino husbands in Mason, we further got information on what to do next in order to obtain a good credit rating, got further affirmation regarding our choice of school, and more affirmation about how the Lord's hands has been moving in our lives in perfect time. Even without the assurance and security of a job for us, we are at peace and confident that God is dictating the pace of all the things that have been happening to us. In His perfect time... we know everything will just fall in place.
The Exodus last June 14, 2009
I felt like I was caught up in a hurricane. Time flew so fast. The whole month of May was spent in Europe gallivanting before the occasion of the wedding of my sister-in-law, temporarily leaving the chaos of packing up for the US behind. Having put back the US migration at the back of our minds made it possible for us to focus on the European trip first. There was also so much to arrange considering that the trip was not a short one. After seeing Frankfurt, Munich, Miltenberg and Buergstadt in Germany; Milan, Venice, Rome, Pisa, Florence and Assisi in Italy; Paris, Liseux, Versailles, Nevers and Lourdes in France; Salzburg in Austria and passing by Switzerland en route to Italy, we were just eager to go back to the Philippines. It was Europe indigestion to say the least.
Back in the Philippines, with just two days to pack our stuff to finally leave for the US, we were living a crazy schedule. The European jetlag made it even crazier because the kids would still remain awake even at the wee hours of the morning just when you wanted to have them out sight. In between business meetings to make final endorsements, arrangement with the mover who will ship our stuff to the US, bank transactions to transfer funds to the US and setting up a system that will also make it possible to transfer funds back and forth from US to Philippines, terminating phone lines, credit card lines, liquidating most of our investments, we also gave way for despidida parties from our friends and colleagues. The night before we left for the US, we were still not done with our packing! It was such a challenge to try to maximize the luggage allowance of 23 kg/piece and 107 cm for 2 pieces given to us by the airline. Alvin and I did not have sleep at all. We ended up packing until daybreak and loaded 4 balikbayan boxes, 4 medium sized wheeled luggages, 2 car seats, 4 hand-carried bags, and 1 stroller. We also had to endorse the shipping of 1 more box via Johnny Air Cargo.
Saying goodbye at the airport was tearjerking. We do not know when we will be able to visit the Philippines again. So much uncertainty in the future. But what we were grateful for was the decision to leave as a family. There were preliminary plans of me leaving ahead of the girls and Alvin and making them follow after one month. But just imagining how it would be carrying all the luggages and going through immigration as well as making major decisions in the US regarding car purchase, schools, etc, made us think think twice about that other plan.
So now we were in it as one family... still together.
Back in the Philippines, with just two days to pack our stuff to finally leave for the US, we were living a crazy schedule. The European jetlag made it even crazier because the kids would still remain awake even at the wee hours of the morning just when you wanted to have them out sight. In between business meetings to make final endorsements, arrangement with the mover who will ship our stuff to the US, bank transactions to transfer funds to the US and setting up a system that will also make it possible to transfer funds back and forth from US to Philippines, terminating phone lines, credit card lines, liquidating most of our investments, we also gave way for despidida parties from our friends and colleagues. The night before we left for the US, we were still not done with our packing! It was such a challenge to try to maximize the luggage allowance of 23 kg/piece and 107 cm for 2 pieces given to us by the airline. Alvin and I did not have sleep at all. We ended up packing until daybreak and loaded 4 balikbayan boxes, 4 medium sized wheeled luggages, 2 car seats, 4 hand-carried bags, and 1 stroller. We also had to endorse the shipping of 1 more box via Johnny Air Cargo.
Saying goodbye at the airport was tearjerking. We do not know when we will be able to visit the Philippines again. So much uncertainty in the future. But what we were grateful for was the decision to leave as a family. There were preliminary plans of me leaving ahead of the girls and Alvin and making them follow after one month. But just imagining how it would be carrying all the luggages and going through immigration as well as making major decisions in the US regarding car purchase, schools, etc, made us think think twice about that other plan.
So now we were in it as one family... still together.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
A House is Not a Home
It was difficult packing our stuff into boxes when my 3-year old daughter would occupy the box even before I have loaded my stuff. So the first things that needed to go from our townhouse were my two daughters. I deported them to my in-laws so my husband and I can concentrate on packing up. The speed with which I was able to put all their clothes in luggage bags and plastic bins was world record. They were out of sight and out of mind in a flash. And that day marked the beginning of the serious cleaning up of the townhouse.
However, two days after not seeing them, my 3-year old started to call the house and asked, "when can I sleep in my house?" and "when can I see you?". It was heart-breaking. So I visited them and started explaining to her that the townhouse was no longer her house and that we were moving. It took quite a couple of such explanation before it dawned on her that indeed she will not be returning to that house to sleep again. The other day, she asked, "Mom, when can I go back to my.... to your house?" I noted the effort with which she changed the "my" to "your" and that made me and my husband decide that it's about time we also sleep with them in my in-laws' place to bring back some semblance of normalcy. This afternoon she no longer asked but made a request which we could not turn down... "Mommy, can I see my house again?" So my husband and I decided to bring the two kids to the townhouse to say goodbye. I think this is an important part of the transition... to look back and say goodbye so one can move on.
As soon as my daughters entered the townhouse, they noted that it no longer was the same house they occupied. I have brought down the picture frames decorating the sala. All the boxes were scattered in the living and dining rooms making it impossible to sit and relax. My 3-year old daughter quickly went up to her room and I followed her. She ran to her bed and flung herself on it and said, "My bed... I miss you." My heart tightened with emotion. But she did not shed a tear. I told her to say goodbye to her bed and to her room. She took her Spongebob pillow and a few other familiar stuff like a hat, a handkerchief, her Cinderella slippers and the Gingerbread man stuff toy. She went to the car embracing all these familiar items. I knew that these will help her feel secure amidst all the uncertainties and changes happening around her. My older daughter commented, "Mommy, she even said goodbye to the windows." I smiled with poignancy. As we left, my 3-year old no longer looked at the house but was busy hugging her stuff toys. I could sense that she now discovered a house is simply a house... it's what and who occupies it that makes it a home. And having these with her brought her back home.
However, two days after not seeing them, my 3-year old started to call the house and asked, "when can I sleep in my house?" and "when can I see you?". It was heart-breaking. So I visited them and started explaining to her that the townhouse was no longer her house and that we were moving. It took quite a couple of such explanation before it dawned on her that indeed she will not be returning to that house to sleep again. The other day, she asked, "Mom, when can I go back to my.... to your house?" I noted the effort with which she changed the "my" to "your" and that made me and my husband decide that it's about time we also sleep with them in my in-laws' place to bring back some semblance of normalcy. This afternoon she no longer asked but made a request which we could not turn down... "Mommy, can I see my house again?" So my husband and I decided to bring the two kids to the townhouse to say goodbye. I think this is an important part of the transition... to look back and say goodbye so one can move on.
As soon as my daughters entered the townhouse, they noted that it no longer was the same house they occupied. I have brought down the picture frames decorating the sala. All the boxes were scattered in the living and dining rooms making it impossible to sit and relax. My 3-year old daughter quickly went up to her room and I followed her. She ran to her bed and flung herself on it and said, "My bed... I miss you." My heart tightened with emotion. But she did not shed a tear. I told her to say goodbye to her bed and to her room. She took her Spongebob pillow and a few other familiar stuff like a hat, a handkerchief, her Cinderella slippers and the Gingerbread man stuff toy. She went to the car embracing all these familiar items. I knew that these will help her feel secure amidst all the uncertainties and changes happening around her. My older daughter commented, "Mommy, she even said goodbye to the windows." I smiled with poignancy. As we left, my 3-year old no longer looked at the house but was busy hugging her stuff toys. I could sense that she now discovered a house is simply a house... it's what and who occupies it that makes it a home. And having these with her brought her back home.
Friday, April 3, 2009
The Transition
A difficult part in migrating is disposing the old stuff that you own.
Looking at all our clothes, appliances, household utensils and furniture brings with it all sorts of emotions. And so the first thing that I had to let go of was my emotions. Because given the time constraints, I cannot waste precious moments lying around my recently acquired sofa nor can I idle around my new refrigerator. So I quickly listed all items for garage sale and sent the list to my friends via email. I also emailed most of my high school and college classmates who are now working as nurses in the US and asked for their advice which stuff is worth bringing and shipping and which ones will just end up in the US garage sale or sent back in a balikbayan box and therefore not worth the effort. I also contacted my freightforwarder in the importation business I am in and asked for a quotation for a one cubic meter seafreight cargo. This will contain roughly 7 medium size balikbayan boxes. The quote was less than $500. So I have decided to bring most of our old clothes, non-medical books, shoes, bags, dining and kitchen sets and only a few toys.
The cars will have to go as well. But we vowed that the money we will earn from the sale will be the same money that we will use to buy a second-hand car. Same goes for the earnings from the furniture and appliances... it will be used to buy for those appliances as well. We'll have to stick to the basics though since what we sold are a lot cheaper than what we are going to buy abroad.
Other things that we have to deal with is sending out indefinite leaves of absence from hospital affiliations and medical societies. I also learned from my accountant that we need to file Form 1905 or cessation of business from our medical practice from the BIR so we don't get charged with tax evasion. We just left our paper investments since the market is down anyway and no use actualizing the loss. But we have to consolidate our bank accounts into two accounts that are accessible online. That is BPI for me. Since the ATM card of BPI has the Cirrus/Maestro logo, that also means we can use our BPI ATM cards for international withdrawals with foreign currencies for a fee. In case of emergencies, then we can access through our local funds. Otherwise, we will try to keep all local funds intact.
We were also advised to bring as many documents as we can like NSO copies of birth certificates and marriage certificates, baptismal certificates and report cards of the children, transcript of records and diploma.
With all of these before me... I think it is about time I minimize my stay with the computer as well and get back to work.
The cars will have to go as well. But we vowed that the money we will earn from the sale will be the same money that we will use to buy a second-hand car. Same goes for the earnings from the furniture and appliances... it will be used to buy for those appliances as well. We'll have to stick to the basics though since what we sold are a lot cheaper than what we are going to buy abroad.
Other things that we have to deal with is sending out indefinite leaves of absence from hospital affiliations and medical societies. I also learned from my accountant that we need to file Form 1905 or cessation of business from our medical practice from the BIR so we don't get charged with tax evasion. We just left our paper investments since the market is down anyway and no use actualizing the loss. But we have to consolidate our bank accounts into two accounts that are accessible online. That is BPI for me. Since the ATM card of BPI has the Cirrus/Maestro logo, that also means we can use our BPI ATM cards for international withdrawals with foreign currencies for a fee. In case of emergencies, then we can access through our local funds. Otherwise, we will try to keep all local funds intact.
We were also advised to bring as many documents as we can like NSO copies of birth certificates and marriage certificates, baptismal certificates and report cards of the children, transcript of records and diploma.
With all of these before me... I think it is about time I minimize my stay with the computer as well and get back to work.
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