Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Discernment in Every Decision

I was completely bothered by a story that I heard regarding the aunt of a friend. She was now in the process of applying for US citizenship but she encountered a serious problem. The USCIS is claiming that she has committed fraud and deceived her former employer because she did not work at the original job placement but instead requested to be transferred to another state. Now, she had to hire a lawyer to defend her case. Since she no longer have any documents at hand to prove that indeed the transfer was valid and was done by her recruiter, and her recruiter are hands off about the issue, she runs the risk of being deported in this process. Imagine, after having worked for 5 years here in the US with the dream of becoming a US citizen just within hand's reach, it is now turning into a complete nightmare.

I remembered just a couple of months ago while I was still in the Philippines, my employer who petitioned for me informed me that there are still no opening here in Cincinnati, OH. I was adamant nevertheless to go to Cincinnati as this was the one stated in my job offer letter and we have a support system in this city. Then my London-based recruiter offered me three options, 1) I will wait until there will be an opening for me in this city, 2) I will go for the headhunter of my recruiter who will place me with another employer, different from the one who petitioned for me and my family, 3) I will buy out my contract from the recruiting agency and be a free agent.

I asked for advice and opinions from former classmates in my nursing school who are now currently working here in the US. One classmate told me that if I do options 2 or 3, I must make sure that I get a document that states that the one who petitioned for me is freeing me of any liability from the job offer that I signed with them. She said that this will affect my status in the future when I decide to apply for US citizenship. I thought that this was just hearsay. Nevertheless, I kept that advise at the back of my mind while I waited for my employer to contact me and give some light as to what my status is going to be.

But now, having heard this story firsthand, it confirms an answer to the prayer which I have been asking for. I have been discerning and asking God to give me a sign as to His will regarding the option to take with regards my work. It is difficult to discern God's will. Unlike in the times of Moses where the people will only have to ask Moses to ask God face-to-face about a certain issue and they get their answer loud and clear, now it is not as simple and straightforward as that. Now, you need the gift of discernment to discern God's will.

What I usually do after lifting the question to God is wait. It does not just come immediately. First, I wait for events to happen. I present my plans to God and ask Him to bless it if it is His will. Then I implement the plan. If it meets resistance and block, then I stop. Perhaps, this is not God's way. If there is no encouragement to go on but instead, other events will unfold which leads to a different way, then I test that way with continued prayer that God lead me and make it clear to me that this is His way. Then an affirmation will further come in the form of inspired message through the Bible, an advice from family or friend, a priest saying the homily, through inspirational books or e-newsletters. However if the initial block or resistance will give an inner urging to remain steadfast and keep on trying, then there is the grace to continue and then doors start to open, then God is simply testing my convictions regarding a decision. I have also learned that He does not want puppets who simply follow Him blindly out of fear of failure. He also wants people who strongly seek His will, and even with resistance, fights for it and is convicted to seek His blessings. And the final test in knowing if it is truly His will is the experience of peace and inner joy after having made the decision.

After having gone through tumultuous moments of indecision and impatience, I have finally decided to stick with the contract with my original employer. I made that silent decision last week, even when I still did not hear from them. Then after having made such a decision, I suddenly got word that there is an opening here in Cincinnati. Though it was slow in coming, I knew this was where God was leading me. Then affirmations were beginning to come in the form of inspired messages and stories. Now, it is slowly becoming clearer to me. Everything happens in God's perfect timing. And I should not be afraid with my decisions as long as I keep on surrendering them to God because when I get misled, He usually straightens it immediately. Indeed, everything works out for good for those who love God and those who are called according to His purpose.

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