I did not expect to be in this crossroad so soon. In fact, I did not expect to hit this crossroad at all. When I took and passed the NCLEX exam in 2004, I was simply joining the bandwagon. Four years after, my life had taken a lot of turns. I have diversified to enterpreneurship, financial planning and management, investment consultation, running advocacy and literary writing. And then on January 17, 2009, I received an email informing me that our family have been granted a visa number for consular interview on February 23. I felt like a tornado entered our house and everything no longer felt and looked the same. What has happened?
The weeks that followed were filled with doubts, confusion, consolations, desolations... We found ourselves in a long, dark tunnel groping for a ray of light. So many voices, including our own were telling us so many differing opinions. It was with much effort that we strained to hear the tiny voice within, the voice which we hoped was illumined and guided by the spirit. In the end we can only learn to trust our instinct, our gut feel... and go back to the days on how we discerned in the past and found our way to this future. When the dust finally settled and we began to perceive the light, then we decided. We will go for it.
The decision is not founded on any one reason. For the sake of the children? No, there is no way we can ascertain that the children are much better off in the US than here in the Philippines. For a greener pasture? That can't be assured as well. Based on my job offer, I will initially be earning a monthly salary which is just comparable to what I am earning here with the disadvantage of not having my two maids and being a single-income earner for the first few months. Not a very attractive scenario, I should say. To explore our unexplored potentials and live our unlived dreams? Perhaps. This I shall elaborate much later... perhaps when we have already settled there.
What I can only say is that it is so much easier to swim with the current rather than against it. It is a lot faster to sail with the wind rather than against it. It is so much better to enter through a door than through a window. You see, I do not believe that when God closes a door, He opens a window. My belief is that He closes a window because it is so much easier to enter through a door. Why would we want to enter through a window if He is already opening the door and inviting us in? But when He calls people, He also demands faith, trust and complete abandonment. Because with these demands, there is the equivalent grace of peace and inner conviction of His will. For what reason that He is calling me and my family to leave and go abroad, I have only a very slight inkling and some vague notion. My only prayer is that He does not allow us to go astray. As long as we are treading His path, following His road... I do not care where it will lead us. My only care is that He is with us in the trip, guiding us and protecting us.
The weeks that followed were filled with doubts, confusion, consolations, desolations... We found ourselves in a long, dark tunnel groping for a ray of light. So many voices, including our own were telling us so many differing opinions. It was with much effort that we strained to hear the tiny voice within, the voice which we hoped was illumined and guided by the spirit. In the end we can only learn to trust our instinct, our gut feel... and go back to the days on how we discerned in the past and found our way to this future. When the dust finally settled and we began to perceive the light, then we decided. We will go for it.
The decision is not founded on any one reason. For the sake of the children? No, there is no way we can ascertain that the children are much better off in the US than here in the Philippines. For a greener pasture? That can't be assured as well. Based on my job offer, I will initially be earning a monthly salary which is just comparable to what I am earning here with the disadvantage of not having my two maids and being a single-income earner for the first few months. Not a very attractive scenario, I should say. To explore our unexplored potentials and live our unlived dreams? Perhaps. This I shall elaborate much later... perhaps when we have already settled there.
What I can only say is that it is so much easier to swim with the current rather than against it. It is a lot faster to sail with the wind rather than against it. It is so much better to enter through a door than through a window. You see, I do not believe that when God closes a door, He opens a window. My belief is that He closes a window because it is so much easier to enter through a door. Why would we want to enter through a window if He is already opening the door and inviting us in? But when He calls people, He also demands faith, trust and complete abandonment. Because with these demands, there is the equivalent grace of peace and inner conviction of His will. For what reason that He is calling me and my family to leave and go abroad, I have only a very slight inkling and some vague notion. My only prayer is that He does not allow us to go astray. As long as we are treading His path, following His road... I do not care where it will lead us. My only care is that He is with us in the trip, guiding us and protecting us.
