I looked out and saw the sun shining. It seemed like a nice and warm day but I know looks can be deceiving because I saw from the SUV's thermostat that the temperature outside is 27F. I won't even bother converting it to Celsius because I know that it is going to give me a negative number. And any negative number multiplied to a positive number will still give you a negative result. If you belong to my generation, you would have remembered that TV jingle "subtract 32 from degrees Fahrenheit, the result keep it in mind. When you multiply that by 5 over 9 and you'll get Celsius just fine".
I promised myself that I will not let the winter season keep me from running. I've been thinking of going to the clubhouse to try that treadmill but I never got to doing it. Now, my brother-in-law and my husband decided to run and I thought, why not join them? It's gonna be my first time to run this season. It will surely be something to write about.
I donned four layers of shirt and three layers of pants. These should keep me warm. As I stepped out of the SUV, I smiled and looked at the vast expanse of white snow before me. I covered my nose and face with a scarf to keep the the air that I breathe in warm. I am very prone to hyperreactive airway and could not stop coughing if cold air gets into my airways. I wanted to keep a slow, steady pace so I was prepared to run alone as my husband and brother-in-law also wanted to run their own paces. After 1 mile, my Running Mate was already beside me. I guess that is the value of running in solitude and that is why I do not mind running alone anymore.
I had a huge prayer intention and I discussed it with Him. In the past, I would usually offer my sufferings and sacrifices for my petitions but now I cringe at the thought of it. This was a huge one and I fear that I may have to suffer and sacrifice a great deal just to have this prayer answered. But He shook His head and told me. "I do not need your sacrifice and sufferings. I need your acts of love. And you know what I mean."
I sighed with great relief. For I saw what He meant. The memory came rushing back like a movie rerun.
It happened two days ago, when I was giving dialysis to a difficult patient. I am usually kind and smiling to my patients, wanting to make the few hours I spend with them a very pleasant experience. But this time, it was difficult to put a smile on my face. And so I just performed my task without looking at him. He was just a patient and I was just a nurse doing my job in a functional manner. Then suddenly I stopped and looked at his face. I "saw"Jesus looking back at me on the bed, getting the dialysis. My heart softened. Now, this Man I know and I care about, this Man I can show great kindness and warm regard. And I did, without much effort. At the end of the dialysis session, when I looked at the man again and saw the patient and not Jesus anymore, he was a transformed man. His attitude towards me changed. I saw gratitude. It was a lesson taught by the Great Teacher. He taught me the easiest way to perform acts of love especially when I feel so unloving. And this is just what He is asking of me in order for Him to work on my petition... perform acts of love.
The thing about God is that He wants us to participate in His works. That is why some prayers are answered fast and some are not because some people are more willing to participate while others are more passive.
As I made my turn on the way back to the car, I passed by the huge tree which used to be clad in colorful hues of autumn. Now it was bare and naked. When you are running in solitude, it can be pretty natural to talk with nature also. So I greeted the tree (of course, just in mind) which still stood tall despite its dreary appearance. "Hi, Mr. tree. Don't worry, you will soon have your leaves back and I am looking forward to seeing your beauty again in a different form come Springtime."
Seasons change. Nothing remains the same forever. There are times when we have to shed some of our leaves, give up some things, let go of some people in our lives only to make room for new growth, new colors, new beginnings. We can easily adapt to changes if we open ourselves to it. I left the SUV and started my run clad on my blue fleece jacket with the mask on my mouth and nose. I ended my run with my fleece jacket knotted on my waist and my mask on my neck. I was breathing cold air without difficulty. I completed my 8km (5 miles) in subzero temperature. I have crossed that mysterious zone of winter running. I have discovered a new way of praying through acts of love.
Then I realized that there is still so much more to be discovered. There is still so much more that my Running Mate can teach me. I only have to run out and open myself to it, abandon my fears and embrace His ways.
I donned four layers of shirt and three layers of pants. These should keep me warm. As I stepped out of the SUV, I smiled and looked at the vast expanse of white snow before me. I covered my nose and face with a scarf to keep the the air that I breathe in warm. I am very prone to hyperreactive airway and could not stop coughing if cold air gets into my airways. I wanted to keep a slow, steady pace so I was prepared to run alone as my husband and brother-in-law also wanted to run their own paces. After 1 mile, my Running Mate was already beside me. I guess that is the value of running in solitude and that is why I do not mind running alone anymore.
I had a huge prayer intention and I discussed it with Him. In the past, I would usually offer my sufferings and sacrifices for my petitions but now I cringe at the thought of it. This was a huge one and I fear that I may have to suffer and sacrifice a great deal just to have this prayer answered. But He shook His head and told me. "I do not need your sacrifice and sufferings. I need your acts of love. And you know what I mean."
I sighed with great relief. For I saw what He meant. The memory came rushing back like a movie rerun.
It happened two days ago, when I was giving dialysis to a difficult patient. I am usually kind and smiling to my patients, wanting to make the few hours I spend with them a very pleasant experience. But this time, it was difficult to put a smile on my face. And so I just performed my task without looking at him. He was just a patient and I was just a nurse doing my job in a functional manner. Then suddenly I stopped and looked at his face. I "saw"Jesus looking back at me on the bed, getting the dialysis. My heart softened. Now, this Man I know and I care about, this Man I can show great kindness and warm regard. And I did, without much effort. At the end of the dialysis session, when I looked at the man again and saw the patient and not Jesus anymore, he was a transformed man. His attitude towards me changed. I saw gratitude. It was a lesson taught by the Great Teacher. He taught me the easiest way to perform acts of love especially when I feel so unloving. And this is just what He is asking of me in order for Him to work on my petition... perform acts of love.
The thing about God is that He wants us to participate in His works. That is why some prayers are answered fast and some are not because some people are more willing to participate while others are more passive.
As I made my turn on the way back to the car, I passed by the huge tree which used to be clad in colorful hues of autumn. Now it was bare and naked. When you are running in solitude, it can be pretty natural to talk with nature also. So I greeted the tree (of course, just in mind) which still stood tall despite its dreary appearance. "Hi, Mr. tree. Don't worry, you will soon have your leaves back and I am looking forward to seeing your beauty again in a different form come Springtime."
Seasons change. Nothing remains the same forever. There are times when we have to shed some of our leaves, give up some things, let go of some people in our lives only to make room for new growth, new colors, new beginnings. We can easily adapt to changes if we open ourselves to it. I left the SUV and started my run clad on my blue fleece jacket with the mask on my mouth and nose. I ended my run with my fleece jacket knotted on my waist and my mask on my neck. I was breathing cold air without difficulty. I completed my 8km (5 miles) in subzero temperature. I have crossed that mysterious zone of winter running. I have discovered a new way of praying through acts of love.
Then I realized that there is still so much more to be discovered. There is still so much more that my Running Mate can teach me. I only have to run out and open myself to it, abandon my fears and embrace His ways.
No comments:
Post a Comment