The Turning Point

These past few weeks, after my back injury I had a major realization. Nursing job is more difficult than medicine.

When I biked with my husband, I realized that I biked faster using a different kind of bike (hybrid instead of mountain bike) and using my major muscle groups like the thigh muscles rather than my foot muscles. There was so much effort using the latter options and so little gain. That's like comparing medicine and nursing for me. Medicine is so much easier to tackle than nursing. Some people might find that surprising. But I guess that's how it is when God puts a vocation in your heart. It just comes naturally and with less effort. A long talk with Ate Joy affirmed this. And with the days that followed, God is speaking louder. Just yesterday I was made to realized that I may just have paid the cheapest price for medical school tuition fee. I only paid $0.02 per semester (P1.00 just for registration). Only God could make something like that happen. I did not have to struggle with medical school to maintain my scholarship. Again, it can only be grace from above.

God created us equipped with the skills and talent to pursue our vocation. He waits for us to act upon it and cooperate with the call. But He never forces us. He prods gently, constantly stirs restlessness in our souls and waits patiently. And He blesses our efforts once we respond. I can only smile with gratitude for this kind of Father that we have.

So I have decided to tackle the USMLE. If this is truly God's will, He will bless the review and the Step 1 exam. If not, then I'm sure He will redirect me to where He wants me to go. It's up to my husband if he wants to review with me :) I hope he will :) but I don't want to impose my call on someone else. Only he can discern God's call in his heart for himself. I can only pray and give my support. I did suggest that he review with me while he discerns and waits for the doors that he's been knocking to open. If these other doors remain closed, at least he has not wasted his time for nothing.

I am still waiting for the 2011 Guidelines for USMLE to be released by September 15, 2010. But I have already ordered the reviewers from amazon so we can start reading. The rough time table is to review from Sept 2010 to Feb 2011 for Step 1 (for the exam eligibility period of Feb-Apr 2011), Mar-June for Step 2 (2-part examination) Clinical Knowledge and Clinical Skills. This will make us practice medicine in the US under direct supervision. And then Step 3 to be able to practice medicine unsupervised in the US. Most residency programs accept Step 2 passers and Step 3 is taken during residency. But for fellowship programs, they require doctors to be Step 3 passers.

There is a financial investment for this but I think it is so much cheaper than taking an entirely new course (http://www.ecfmg.org/fees.html). I've checked in the past, that if I pursue a career as a nurse-anesthetist, I have to enroll in a 2-year masteral degree course to get certified. Each semester costs around $20,000-25,000!

I might as well try the road of less resistance. Grace is like a wind that blows the sail of our boat towards His destination. If there is so much struggle paddling the boat, then it can only be because we are paddling against the current of grace. My sister is right. The back injury is God's wake up call for me. Just so unfortunate that I have to endure this pain everyday. I just hope that a day will come that I will be pain-free. Perhaps when I am already practicing in the field of Pain Medicine. Not because I have treated myself, but because God has healed me. :)