A House is Not a Home

It was difficult packing our stuff into boxes when my 3-year old daughter would occupy the box even before I have loaded my stuff. So the first things that needed to go from our townhouse were my two daughters. I deported them to my in-laws so my husband and I can concentrate on packing up. The speed with which I was able to put all their clothes in luggage bags and plastic bins was world record. They were out of sight and out of mind in a flash. And that day marked the beginning of the serious cleaning up of the townhouse.

However, two days after not seeing them, my 3-year old started to call the house and asked, "when can I sleep in my house?" and "when can I see you?". It was heart-breaking. So I visited them and started explaining to her that the townhouse was no longer her house and that we were moving. It took quite a couple of such explanation before it dawned on her that indeed she will not be returning to that house to sleep again. The other day, she asked, "Mom, when can I go back to my.... to your house?" I noted the effort with which she changed the "my" to "your" and that made me and my husband decide that it's about time we also sleep with them in my in-laws' place to bring back some semblance of normalcy. This afternoon she no longer asked but made a request which we could not turn down... "Mommy, can I see my house again?" So my husband and I decided to bring the two kids to the townhouse to say goodbye. I think this is an important part of the transition... to look back and say goodbye so one can move on.

As soon as my daughters entered the townhouse, they noted that it no longer was the same house they occupied. I have brought down the picture frames decorating the sala. All the boxes were scattered in the living and dining rooms making it impossible to sit and relax. My 3-year old daughter quickly went up to her room and I followed her. She ran to her bed and flung herself on it and said, "My bed... I miss you." My heart tightened with emotion. But she did not shed a tear. I told her to say goodbye to her bed and to her room. She took her Spongebob pillow and a few other familiar stuff like a hat, a handkerchief, her Cinderella slippers and the Gingerbread man stuff toy. She went to the car embracing all these familiar items. I knew that these will help her feel secure amidst all the uncertainties and changes happening around her. My older daughter commented, "Mommy, she even said goodbye to the windows." I smiled with poignancy. As we left, my 3-year old no longer looked at the house but was busy hugging her stuff toys. I could sense that she now discovered a house is simply a house... it's what and who occupies it that makes it a home. And having these with her brought her back home.

The Transition

A difficult part in migrating is disposing the old stuff that you own.

Looking at all our clothes, appliances, household utensils and furniture brings with it all sorts of emotions. And so the first thing that I had to let go of was my emotions. Because given the time constraints, I cannot waste precious moments lying around my recently acquired sofa nor can I idle around my new refrigerator. So I quickly listed all items for garage sale and sent the list to my friends via email. I also emailed most of my high school and college classmates who are now working as nurses in the US and asked for their advice which stuff is worth bringing and shipping and which ones will just end up in the US garage sale or sent back in a balikbayan box and therefore not worth the effort. I also contacted my freightforwarder in the importation business I am in and asked for a quotation for a one cubic meter seafreight cargo. This will contain roughly 7 medium size balikbayan boxes. The quote was less than $500. So I have decided to bring most of our old clothes, non-medical books, shoes, bags, dining and kitchen sets and only a few toys.

The cars will have to go as well. But we vowed that the money we will earn from the sale will be the same money that we will use to buy a second-hand car. Same goes for the earnings from the furniture and appliances... it will be used to buy for those appliances as well. We'll have to stick to the basics though since what we sold are a lot cheaper than what we are going to buy abroad.

Other things that we have to deal with is sending out indefinite leaves of absence from hospital affiliations and medical societies. I also learned from my accountant that we need to file Form 1905 or cessation of business from our medical practice from the BIR so we don't get charged with tax evasion. We just left our paper investments since the market is down anyway and no use actualizing the loss. But we have to consolidate our bank accounts into two accounts that are accessible online. That is BPI for me. Since the ATM card of BPI has the Cirrus/Maestro logo, that also means we can use our BPI ATM cards for international withdrawals with foreign currencies for a fee. In case of emergencies, then we can access through our local funds. Otherwise, we will try to keep all local funds intact.

We were also advised to bring as many documents as we can like NSO copies of birth certificates and marriage certificates, baptismal certificates and report cards of the children, transcript of records and diploma.

With all of these before me... I think it is about time I minimize my stay with the computer as well and get back to work.