Back in 2007, when I wrote the essay "The Sentiments of a Young Filipino MD", I thought a beautiful and heroic way to put a twist on this essay is for me to abandon the desire to migrate, make the sacrifice and make it good in the Philippines. That would have created a heroine and saint out of me. But it was not meant to be. Because as much as I want to do what looks right, honorable and commendable, the Spirit within clamors for something more. As much as I find the vocation of medicine truly noble, I also find another vocation within trying to get out. I long to write, to travel, to inspire people. A restless soul will remain restless until it finds rest in God. And the same restlessness is mirrored in my soulmate... the man whose musical and photographic abilities got entrapped inside his white coat. Medicine can sometimes kill doctors... figuratively. Entrapment. Perhaps if I flee the society who expects me to be a doctor and take on the role of a nurse, then my jailed spirit can be set free. A temporary respite from the insanity and stress of medicine is all my soulmate and I need. To free the soul, we needed to free the body and the mind. Perhaps, we may come back one day, whole, alive and serving.
What made us realize that it was not mere money and financial opportunity that we seek was when we sought the answer to this question: " What if we suddenly won in the lottery? Would we still migrate?" Without hesitation, the two of us answered in the affirmative. That would actually give us more freedom to do what we really love to do and the opportunity to send our little girls to an all-girls' Catholic school.
"The opposite of happiness is not sadness. It is boredom." That is a striking statement from Tim Ferris' book "4-Hour Work week". Five years in our practice and we are already experiencing midlife crisis. Looking ahead and extending that five years to ten years still reveals the same scenario. Is that it? --- Medicine being reduced to a mere occupation. We know that being doctors will remain integral in our own persona, that someday we'll miss it again... but for now, there is a part of us that is slowly dying if we don't give it the attention that it needs. It is making us less of the doctors that we wanted to be. To become whole again, we need to let go first. "Whoever tries to gain his own life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for my sake will gain it."
A lot of people say, "Take control of your life." But for us in this crossroads. I hear the voice within say, "Throw away reason and abandon your life to Him." It's time to do some soul searching... to abandon what's familiar and predictable.... to dive into the unknown... to allow the spirit to lead us to the desert... then perhaps like the Great Physician, we shall come back with a clearer vision of our mission in this world.
What made us realize that it was not mere money and financial opportunity that we seek was when we sought the answer to this question: " What if we suddenly won in the lottery? Would we still migrate?" Without hesitation, the two of us answered in the affirmative. That would actually give us more freedom to do what we really love to do and the opportunity to send our little girls to an all-girls' Catholic school.
"The opposite of happiness is not sadness. It is boredom." That is a striking statement from Tim Ferris' book "4-Hour Work week". Five years in our practice and we are already experiencing midlife crisis. Looking ahead and extending that five years to ten years still reveals the same scenario. Is that it? --- Medicine being reduced to a mere occupation. We know that being doctors will remain integral in our own persona, that someday we'll miss it again... but for now, there is a part of us that is slowly dying if we don't give it the attention that it needs. It is making us less of the doctors that we wanted to be. To become whole again, we need to let go first. "Whoever tries to gain his own life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for my sake will gain it."
A lot of people say, "Take control of your life." But for us in this crossroads. I hear the voice within say, "Throw away reason and abandon your life to Him." It's time to do some soul searching... to abandon what's familiar and predictable.... to dive into the unknown... to allow the spirit to lead us to the desert... then perhaps like the Great Physician, we shall come back with a clearer vision of our mission in this world.
